The Adventures of Cupcakes!

New Home!!!

2010-04-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

Gosh knows if anyone read this anymore but just in case there is someone out there who does, I can now be found blogging here at my burlesque troupes website. It is going to be a whole lot of fun I promise!!!!

See you there!

Clara

xoxoxox

Apology Anthology + Blog Re-Boot 2009

2009-06-19T03:39:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I am not dead! Huzzah!

My apologies for leaving this blog by the wayside. I have been very busy/ quite unmotivated since returning from Thailand. Here's what I've been up to:

- Mr A & I now own a house. A lovely, lovely white weatherboard house built in 1926. I'm completely in love with it.

- Although I am in love, said house is in a state of disrepair. It got attacked by the 60's and a terrible DIY-er. I have been renovating like mad! We have removed asbestos, replaced walls, smashed disgusting kitchen cabninet (that had a mouse poo mountain behind them) and intalled beautiful, clean, storybook, milky white ones. I also have a brand new Smeg oven! 90cm! So wonderful.

- I have been burlesquing like a crazy (sexy) lady. I can now dance on point, spin 4 hula hoops and throw fans every which way. I have an awesome gig in Broome soon with the amazing bendy beauty Kimtortion. To say I am pretty excited would be an understatement. I also have a show this weekend, Puttin' on the Glitz. I'm doing a fan throw and a wacky flapper charleston. The next show after that will be even more exciting, as we will have a super special guest.

- I have my kitten back! She is so cute, I get distracted playing with her and just staring at her adorableness. Although I think she is going through her rebellious teenage phase. She has been a little destructive and moody lately. Or it might be because she's on a diet (she got a little fat while I was away).

- I'm usually knee deep in cupcakes. I am developing my cupcake business very very slowly but surely. I currently operate out of home which is a titch bit illegal but I'm only selling for the Retro Markets at the moment and the odd wedding or two. But I hope by the end of the year to be a little more legal.

So yes, that is what I have been up to, among other things. I am hoping to start blogging more regularly again. I have a little challenge set for myself and I think blogging about it will help me stick to it.

Chat to you again soon darlinks.

Clara
xoxoxoxox

Baby it's cold outside

2009-01-18T17:31:00.000-08:00

It can be hard to believe, but it's actually pretty cold in Thailand right now. It's winter, which would usually mean it being a few degrees cooler and very dry. I was here the same time last year and I was so sweaty and hot the whole time. Now in Bangkok it only gets as low as around 14'C. People are wearing jumpers and scarves! Even I have been getting chilly at night time and reaching for a cardigan.

But up north and to the north east, things are much colder. Like below zero colder. You might think it's funny that people are cold in Thailand but it's really no laughing matter. Poorer Thai people are not at all equip for the cold. They generally won't have blankets or a mattress and their houses are usually a combination of corrugated iron and thatch. People are actually freezing to death. The cold snap has claimed 3 lives already including monk. Several places have been declared disaster zones. It's crazy.

It seemed like it was warmer in Bangkok today do hopefully this cold snap will be over soon before more lives are lost. It's really, really sad.

Permanent Marker

2009-01-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

So after deciding 2009 will be my year to start making some real changes, my mind has ultimately swung back to the thing I have been thinking about for years: getting a tattoo. This is not something I take lightly. I have been researching it for years, finding out everything possible (which colours last the longest, how the size and detail affects it as it get old and wrinkly, etc.). I even have a shortlist of people I would like to do my tattoo. 1# on the list is Angelique Houtkamp. Her style is amazing and exactly what I'm looking for. Sadly, this would be crushingly expensive and she lives in the Netherlands. But anyways!

I have been wanting to get a little tatty done to represent Mr A. We've been together almost 8 years! But I think name tattoos are lame (so does he - he's KILL me if I got one). So here is my idea:

I want a little sweetheart lolly on my inside wrist that says "BE MINE", perhaps with another in a different colour peeking out the edge. Small, cute classy and totally cute! I definitely think I will get this done in the new year. But, like most people I'm scared of the pain! I suppose I shall just have to bite the bullet and get it over with! It will be worth it.

Baby Blue Eyes

2009-01-16T00:00:00.001-08:00

Is it bad that I want some of these?? They look so cute! I spotted them at Platinum Mall today and have been obsessing ever since! They last for a year which I think is a pretty sweet deal. I just worry they will look ridiculous on me! I don't have those lovely, big asian eyes!

What do you think? Do you hate them or love them?

It's good to be King

2009-01-15T00:00:00.001-08:00

Not Elvis silly! King Bhumibol Adulyadej, the King of Thailand! a few weeks ago it was his 81st birthday (meant to write this post much much earlier!). All of Thailand turns yellow to celebrate it, as that is his colour. It's pretty amazing. Everyone in Thailand loves him. He is almost a religion is his own right. This year, he was too sick to attend hi birthday celebration. His Son and daughter came instead. Some of my friends work at the palace school where the ceremony is held and they said people were devastated. Thai's had travelled from all over the country to see him. People were crying and consoling each other, not because they missed out on seeing him, but because he was sick. That's how much they love him.

He's the 9th Rama of Thailand. He's 81 years old and has been reigning for 60 years! WOAH! That makes him the longest reigning living Monarch. He actually took over from his brother, who died suddenly (and a little mysteriously depending on who you talk to) when he was 20. Rama really is a king of the people. In his younger days, he was actively involved in a lot of charity work and would actually get out to visit they people and see things for himself. He's also a very progressive thinker and helped make Bangkok a little more modern with the introduction on the BTS system. Rama 9 also banned logging in Thailand and since then the forested areas have gone from 20% to 30%. Once they reach 40%, elephants can start being re-released into the wild! He has done so many good things for Thailand.

Oh he's also a great musician and there are several radio station devoted to playing just the music he has composed and performed. He has also help to raise awareness for the plight of soi dogs in Thailand by adopting his very own in the hopes it will encourage Thais to do the same.

Sadly, he spends a lot of his time these days at Hua Hin, an affluent area on the coast. He's been pretty unwell for a while now. He has to use a walker. I am glad I'm leaving Thailand before he dies (fingers cross). His son is quite unpopular with the people. He is apparently a bit of a philanderer. They would rather one of the princesses take the throne as they have continued his charity work and seem to have Thailand's best interests at heart. The law has recently been changed so the princesses can assume the throne so there might be hope for the royal family yet! But there will be immense amounts of grieving is Thailand when the King passes away. If you work for the palace, you have to wear black for a year. Many people in Thailand will do the same to show respect for him. It's very touching.

If you come to Thailand you will see pictures of him everywhere. Every home will have one at the very least. Try to refrain from pointing at pictures of the royal family and don't speak badly about them in public. You could very easily offend a Thai person who overhears you. It's like insulting a member of their family!

After all, he is the father of modern Thailand.

A Place to Call my own.

2009-01-14T00:05:00.000-08:00

I know! I know!! I said I'd post more but things have been a little crazy since the start of the year. I've had visitors since the fourth and showing them around has been super tiring.

I'm going home in two weeks and I've trying to sort stuff out for that too. I have been thinking about own new house too. Mr A and I have very different tastes in interiors so we will try and keep the main area's of the house neutral. But we will both have our own rooms. Mr A for his guitars and me for my sewing. I can do whatever I like in my room!!!

I'm kinda going for a Kawaii Tea House/50's Boudoir/French Bordello kind of look. If you can understand that. I am completely in love with wall decals right now and I think some cherry blossoms would be beautiful. I really like the look of pink and red together also. Fashion Hayley pulls this off in her house so beautifully. I picked up some lovely red and pink frames at the markets on the weekend. I think I'll put some of my burlesque photos in them. I love the idea of bird cages too. I bought some in Vietnam. I want to fill them with butterflies and maybe even some plants/flowers! How sweet would that look!?

I like these colours a whole bunch! I'd also die and go to heaven if I could get my hands on a mirrored desk. Sadly, all the ones I have seen are way out of my decorating budget!!! BOOO!!! I really like the dressing table thing too. I despise having my make up and the such like in the bathroom. I'd love to have somewhere to sit and put my face on without having Mr A bugging me to get out because he has to pee or shave or something. I will defiantly get an inspiration board for my projects. I like to have everything laid out in front of me. I might even cover it with fabric to make it a little more aesthetically pleasing.

A day bed might be fun too!! Great for impromptu guests and lazily reading a book on a Sunday afternoon.

What do you think? I really want to make our new house more me. The one we are in now and even the one before showed far more of Mr A's taste then mine. I can't wait to start!

Shi-an not Xian or the land that English forgot

2009-01-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

After Hong Kong was behind us, we went to Xian, the home of the terracotta warriors. I was pretty excited. It one of the 3 things I crossed off my to do list

Xian however, is the most difficult place I have ever been. There is no written English, no-one speaks English and there are no English menus. China really hasn't been open to the western world for that long so I guess it's not that surprising. Plus I am not in an English speaking country so it's totally arrogant for me to expect any less.

Anywhoo, we got to our hotel pretty late after going for a ride in a far to expensive taxi (I made the mistake of assuming Mr A had researched all these things before we left. He usually does). It was really nice and cozy with friendly staff. The only problem was the cigarette smell (you can still smoke pretty much everywhere in China - gross!) and the bed was pretty rock hard, even by Thailand standards.

We decided to venture out and fine some food. Our hotel concierge suggest we go to the drum tower and kindly wrote down the address for us in Chinese. It was a lot colder than Hong Kong which was a lovely change from Bangkok and I got to wear my Zara jacket that I love more than anything right now. A short taxi ride later we were greeted by this:

Isn't it beautiful!!? See those things about the tower? The stringy things? Those are kites! These amazing rice paper kites that go on forever into the sky. I had to have some.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them yet. Maybe put them on a wall?

Anyway. We went to the market street in search of food. After accidentally setting off a car alarm and being laughed at by a Chinese guy, said guy informed us we were in fact on the Islamic street! It was really bright and colourful with lots of interesting souvenirs. I didn't buy any though. We were too hungry! after searching up and down the strip for an English menu, we decided to try our luck with this little kebab-ish type place. By the laughing and looks on their faces when we went in you could tell they didn't speak English. After a bunch of pointing and terrible mandarin on my part, we managed to get some eats.

Me trying to find the Mandarin word for beer. It's Pijiu in case you ever need to know.

Here's out food. I managed not to order anything weird, aside from there being chicken cartilage on one of the skewers (note: it's gross). It was all yummy grilled veggies with this tasty spice mix all over them. Mmmmmmm. Good.

The next day we went to see the famed warriors. The concierge organised a taxi to take us around for the day. It took around 40minutes to get there from the hotel. It was super warm in the car and I ended up having a little nap. Tehehehe! We had about three hours to look around. We were immediately assaulted by tour guides offering their services for around 100RMB which worked out to about $25 AUD. After saying no a million times we eventually gave in to a particularly cute girl who seemed nice enough. She ended up being pretty average. She repeated everything she said at least three times and yelled when she spoke like we were deaf. But she did answer all my questions, even when there weren't about the warriors.

We were walking around the complex to get into the museum and I suddenly noticed I was being stared at. A lot. By everyone. I've written about being stared at in Thailand before. You'd think I'd be used to it. But this was a whole new level. I was staring to think I had two heads or something. But my tour guide kept telling me it's because I was so pale and I looked like an actress. HA! I was very flattered but still very weirded out. Especially when one lady told me I "looked like the light". What???

So once we made it through the starey starey people, we were inside the first and largest warrior pit. HOLY SHIZMIT!!! The place was mind blowing. It was absolutely massive and full of the amazing terracotta warriors.

They think there are over 6000 warriors buried tin this pit alone, all in battle formation. They were part of the tomb of the first emperor of China. They are all in pieces because a year after the Emperor died, his rival went through and smashed and burnt them all. It takes 1 year to put a warrior back together. It's the ultimate jigsaw puzzle.

Each one is different. The faces are based on really soldiers. Isn't that amazing? The Emperor initially wanted to bury real soldiers but decided it was impractical seeing as they wouldn't last as long as the terracotta ones. That crazy guy! There are even terracotta horses.

After a nice noodle lunch it was back in the taxi to visit the royal baths! This place was beutiful and very serene, even if it had that odd eerieness that winter brings.

Next stop...BEIJING!!! WOHOOO!

2 oh oh 9

2008-12-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

2009 is here!!! I have so many things I want to and HAVE to achieve. I don't think I did as much with this year as I could have. I think having so much time to myself and being away from everything and everyone has made me lazy. I feel I definitely could have done more! So here is my list for 2009:

1. Do more sewing. I have so many wonderful fabrics and patterns but something always gets in the way, usually vegetating on the couch or looking up useless stuff on the net. If I put an hour aside every evening to sew I could have a new piece of clothing adorable every week! I'd also like to be able to make my own patterns so doing some classes this year would be good!

2. Keep up the exercise. I have been exercising a lot more than usual and I really want to keep that up. I adore yoga and swimming and even lifting weights! I will definitely be joining a gym with a pool! I think I will even buy a bike to run all my errands around the neighbourhood on. I got addicted to bike riding in Kyoto.

3. Improve my Charleston and Lindy hop. I LOVE my dancing. I feel at my happiest when I'm being flung around the dance floor or cutting loose on my own with some crazy Charleston. Being away from Perth meant that I couldn't partner dance anymore (Mr A doesn't swing). I have been doing some Charleston but the hot weather makes it difficult to practise a lot without dying. I've also had problems with my knees that I haven't addressed because doctors in Thailand are a little scary. So I will be going mad on dancing when I get back! If I could get this good I'd be in heaven.

4. Start Clara Cupcakes! I'm starting my own cupcake bakery! My lovely friend Mel (and the owner of my burlesque troupe) has offered me the bar in her new space, the Burlesque Lounge. It will only be twice a week but it's a great way to get my teeth into the business, test recipes and see if it's all really for me without outlaying any massive costs. I'm hoping to also start my own little line of retro aprons to go along with it and eventually own my own bakery. *squeal*

5. Have more parties! Invite more people over for dinner too! I love cooking and don't do it enough! I love cooking for other people and making them happy through food. And parties are always glorious fun. Totally worth the clean up the next day.

6. Reach my goal weight. It has been eluding me for years and appears to only be getting further away! 9kgs and counting!!! If I keep the exercising next year it should be no problem.

7. Be flexible enough to do the splits. I am so close!!! Just a few more centimeters. I used to be really flexible when I was younger but have gotten less so over the years. I want it back!

8. Improve my Japanese. I speak broken Japanese at best. I really want to get fluent so I can have a conversation with my wonderful host mother in Tomioka. It would be wonderful! So I plan to be conversational by the end of the year.

9. Buy a house! This is something me and Mr A are obsessed with at the moment. We have been searching real estate websites like crazy. I really want a 1920's house. Wood floors, high ceilings, an old auger in the kitchen. Lovely. I can picture it all in my head. Something like this! Oh I can see it now!!

10. Stop procrastinating and make better use of my time. This way, I can achieve all my goals for the year! Woohoo!!!

11. Get back to tap lessons. I gave them up in a bout of frustrated arghness but I really want to learn to tap. It would help a lot with my Charleston dancing. Plus, Gene Kelly is my god. If I could ever dance even a 10th as well as he could I would die happy.

12. Get a little playmate for Gretchen. We will both be working next year so Gretchie will need some company. She's okay on her own (British sort hairs usually are) but I think she would like a friend. She's also really overweight from living in a smaller apartment (she's an inside cat) for the last 6 months. Having a friend to tear around with should help her shed those extra kilos.

Hopefully I can tick all these off this year. One for every month. Happy times!!!! Have a great New Year everyone!!!

Going Honkey Nuts!

2008-12-30T12:00:00.000-08:00

Mr A and I had this trip booked for a ages for over the Kings Birthday weekend. Macau, Hong Kong, Xi-an and Beijing. But thanks to the lovely people of PAD ( I am still angry at you for keeping Facehunter out of Bangkok by the way) we thought we would have to change our plans. Thankfully the airport opened 2 days before our trip and the lovely staff at Thai airways changed our flights for us free of charge! We couldn't go to Macau anymore and so we went straight to Hong Kong instead.

To be honest I have never really wanted to go to Hong Kong. I was never on my list but I can tell you right now I'm so glad I went! Hong Kong is AMAZING!

We had 2 nights in the most amazing hotel in a club suite and lounge. I loooooovvveee hotel breakfasts and this one had the best! So delicious! Here is the crazy chrismassyness on the outside of our hotel!
and inside!
So anyway, the first night we met up with Nick and Kim who had been in Macau, gambling their lives away. We went and saw a crazy light show across the way in Hong Kong proper (we were on Kowloon). It was pretty cool! That sky line....wow!!!
Afterwards we went out to dinner at this super cheap Hong Kong noodle shop. We walked in and the waiter yells at us "How many people?? Four people?!! FOUR PEOPLE!!!". He promptly kicked two guys out who had almost finish and plonked us down while yelling "FOUR PEOPLE!!!!" at everyone else in the shop. They were some tasty, tasty noodles though! Oh it was also Nick's birthday! Hooray! Birthday noodles!!

Afterwards we went in search of beer and shopping. Hong Kong is amazing for shopping, but a little expensive! Compared to Bangkok anyway. I didn't actually end up buying anything that night aside from a delicious baked sweet potato. After wandering around Kowloon for hours (much of which was spent trying to find birthday cake for Nick - fail!), drinking some beers and seeing a hilarious man slap fight (they were yelling at eat other but slapping themselves in the face) we decided to head home as my feet were about to fall off from coldness. Kim and Nick bunked down in our room for the night.

Kim and Nick left very early the next morning to head back to Macau. We decided to catch the ferry across to Hong Kong and do a spot of shopping and touristy stuff. I was quite lovely on the ferry.

We walk straight off the the ferry and up the road a little and what do I find..

*holy grail type music* ahhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhhhhhhhhh. H & M!!!!!!

We don't have any in Australia so I was sooooo excited! I was like a kid in a very stylish candy store. Here's what I got:

Super cute button scarf, army style hat thingy AND seamed stockings pale enough for my legs! Sadly, I had to leave behind the most beautiful pair of patent mauve brogues because there were none left in my size! BOOO!!!

After that we decided to go up the hill for a gander over Hong Kong. We catch a cute little tram up and look who I saw waiting in line.

I squish you Jackie Chan! There is a Madame Tussards on the lookout ,though I wouldn't recommend going unless you are a big fan of Asian movie and pop stars.

We had some more lovely photos from the peak, including our ridiculous but delicious lunch at Bubba Gump (best key lime pie ever) but Mr A managed to delete them.

We went back to hotel after that for a rest and some afternoon tea and then headed out for some afternoon tea and a nap before shopping and sight seeing again! Oh Hong Kong, I love you.

Lion dog!!!

Here's my little haul:

All from Granville road, the best shopping street ever!!!

The next morning we were leaving for Xi-an so we took some time to walk around the parks and the foreshore. Lovely!

That's all for my little Hong Kong jaunt. Stay tuned for Xi-an and the terracotta warriors!!!

HA HA HA

2008-12-29T12:00:00.000-08:00

(this photo was too disturbing not to post!)

There is a funny little joke in Thailand that amuses me. In Australia, we tend to use LOL when we think something is funny (not me. I hate text talk but anyways!). But in Thailand if something is funny they write this: 555

Why you ask?

Because 5 in Thailand is Ha. So 555 = Ha Ha Ha!!! I think it's awesome! This doesn't even really warrant it's own post but I couldn't think of another place to slip it in. So there you have it! Now your in on the joke if your Thai friend sends you a message!

555!!!

A very Clara Christmas

2008-12-28T17:44:00.000-08:00

This year marks my second Christmas in Asia. Last year I had a very Japanese Chrisamasu, KFC and creamy Christmas cake and all. This year of course, I am in Bangkok. I was pretty bummed because we didn't have a tree (I have the most beautiful glass decorations at home) but I was cheered up immensely by helping my American friends decorate theirs. We did that a few weeks ago aided by some of my cinnamon hot chocolate. And the polar bear hats of course!!!!

Then on Christmas eve we had a little "family" get together at Kim, Nick and Morgans. Kim made some delicious chicken and broccoli pasta, some salad and provided the wine. I made some gingerbread men!

We decided to do a little secret Santa instead of individual presents for everyone. Marisa was my Santa!

She got me a super cute tea set and some patches! Loved them!

It was a really fun night! We drank wine, played charades (we finally kicked the boys butts!), talked to Kim's parents on skype, played dress ups with Morgan and Marisa's ridiculous Santa and Mrs Claus costumes and had cushion races down the hallway!

Thai style posing.

the bearded lady

We call him Sven.

Mr A and I slept in (with the exception of my sister calling at 6 am - urrrggghh) and got up around 10.30 for presents. He got me this adorable strawberry shaped pot with matching bowls and a cookie cook book! Some of my presents still haven't arrived from the Internet so I get double presents! Yay!!

I got Mr A a bunch of retro tin toys he'd been eyeing off for a while.

We then indulged in some deliciousness in the form of Crepes and Co and their delicious cheese fondue crepe and Moroccan mint tea. MMMmm. We got home to the lovely present of almost having our power shut off due to Mr A's inept receptionist and spent 2 hours wrestling with them over the phone. We managed to get them to hold off on cutting the power ill the next day. PHEW!

In the evening we caught up with Ms Morgan for some Japanese buffet and ice skating. I put on my more festive, chrissmassy outfit! The buffet at Shabu Shi was delicious. It's always good! A little odd for Christmas though!

After stuffing ourselves silly with sushi we went to the top floor to go ice skating. To our horror, some Scrooge had hired the whole venue out on Christmas. This photo best expresses my disappointment.

So we decided to go bowling instead. It was really fun! I am the worlds worst bowler!! We were in the Christmas bowling spirit!

Bowling butt shots!!!

Craziness!!!

We played 2 games and after scoring a miserable 57 in the first game, I won the next one with 109!

I can do it!!!!

I had an excellent Christmas. Different but excellent. I will confess, I am looking forward to finally having one at home next year. My own tree, my lovely cat and family. Yay!

Have a great New Years everyone!!

The most wonderful time.....

2008-12-27T02:14:00.000-08:00

The unimitatable Gala Darling has teamed up with the lovely Molly Crabapple to run a great competition. Molly Crabapple is the founder of Dr Sketchy's Anti Art School, which my burlesque troupe is a part of in Perth. The prize is a Molly Crabapple print! *SQUEAL* So exciting. She is an AMAZING illustrator! You had to enter a polyvore set of what you would wear on Christmas day. I made one....and then got a little carried away. Polyvore is addictive!
So this is my first one. Super cute Christmassy with all the trimmings. I love that I love toast ring! I think I may have to buy one for myself. Also the brogues and the snowflake necklace. I actually own those love heart mixing bowls. And of course, my two kitties in the corner pestering the hell out of me for attention. (okay so I only have one kitty at the moment but we are probably getting another one when we get home cause Gretchie is getting fat and needs a playmate).

Here's more of an Australian BBQ/picnic/garden party outfit. I NEED those Betsy Johnston shoes. I really like the gloves too. Driving gloves are a new obsession of mine. and of course there are little festive touches with the green hat, red shoes and deer necklace.

This is my winter wonderland outfit. If I wore this in Bangkok right now I would die! But after just being in China all rugged up, I miss my winter gear. Look at that adorable crayola thermos! And that cape! More people should wear capes!
Lazy Christmas morning!!! I love, love, LOVE Christmas morning. So relaxed and so nice. This would be super lovely to lounge about in and open presents.

And finally, if I was Santa's little helper. I again feel the NEED for those Viviene Westwood boots!!! NEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

photo by the inimitable David Woolley

I hope you all have a lovely day and that people make you feel loved and happy. That's what Christmas is all about!!

Thanks for reading!!

xoxoxox

Clara

How RUDE!

2008-12-23T00:06:00.000-08:00

Dear construction workers on my soi,

I am writing to you about a matter that until now I found ignorable. I know you have a shitty job and need some entertainment but I would like to inform you that that is, in fact, not me. I get annoyed enough when you stare at my boobs, talk very obviously about them in Thai and even make gestures that are clearly about my boobs when all I am trying to do it get to the BTS at the end of the street. It's disgusting an makes me very mad and self conscious. I understand Thai women don't really have big boobs but that it no excuse.

Today, however, you actually made me cry. I couldn't believe how horrible it was, even for you pigs. You walked behind me pretending to be a fat person. Cheeks puffed out, arms spread wide, bow legged walk, the whole fat impersonation shebang. And then laughing in my face when I turned around to catch you in the act. No sorry, no "kathoid na krup", nothing.

I am appalled. I let you get away with it once. Next time I will break your noses. Don't think I won't. Have some respect. I only wish I knew how to cuss you out so bad in Thai that your great grandfather would be offended. You are all filthy, horrid pigs and I hate you.

Yours sincerely

Clara

xoxoxoxoxox

Say my name!

2008-12-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

How cute is this!!! This is the Sex and the City nameplate necklace on a whole new level. They are by Trashy Deluxe (on esty of course) and I think they are ten kinds of fabulous! I really want to get one made for each of the girls in my Burlesque troupe, if only for the glee of placing an order for ten necklaces reading things like Adora Derriere, Sapphire Demure, Scarlett O'Harlot and Fanny LaRue!! That and the girls would go insane for them! The very first thing I shall do when I win lotto!

*swoon*

Not So Turkey Day!

2008-12-20T12:00:00.000-08:00

So you have heard about a million times already about my lovely American friends over here who keep me sane. It great having them, not only for friendship but experiencing new and exciting things! Case and point: Thanksgiving! I was so excited! I always liked the look of American holiday food (my family don't really celebrate anything much) so was really excited to see what everyone would bring! Of course I forgot to take photos as per usual so I pinched these from Morgana!

My chickens! Turkey was way too expensive so I vetoed it. This is my favourite recipe, although you don't want to make it too often. You stuff the breast with herb butter so it's super fatty but I figured it was a special occasion.

Kitchen bitches Morgan and Kim, complete with adorable aprons!

The FEAST! Well, actually about half of it. The dessert is on another table.

Here's what we had:

Herb roast chicken (me)
Apple cider glazed pork roast (me)
Gravy (me - best gravy I have ever made)
Roast garlic (me)
Goats cheese and pear salad (Kim)
Cranberry and apple stuffing (Kim -
it was so good!)
Jalapenos mashed potatoes (Nick - super delicious!)
Sweet potato casserole (Morgan - it's some crazy arse southern dish but OMG it's good!)
Jalapeno Corn bread (Morgan)
Rolls (me! That's right, I made bread!)
Marisa was supposed to bring veggies but she turned up after everything was cooked. But she also had the ice cream for dessert which consisted of:

Apple crumble pie (me)
Sticky rice (Dwight)
Fruit salad (Cayla)
Cinnamon cupcakes with cranberry glaze and cream cheese icing (me)
Rum ball and cookies (Natsuko)

We were crazy stuffed full afterwards. I was a great night. Two people turned up without food which was kinda annoying because everyone had put so much effort in and they just mooched. Especially when one of them bragged about going to three thanksgivings! Grrrrr! But what can you do. We ended the night watching hilarious Japanese game show clips on youtube. Naturally!

Sorries!

2008-12-19T12:00:00.001-08:00

the blogger sorry dog!

I have been a bit neglectful of this blog lately. But I promise to post a tonne of things on Thailand and my holidays and stuff soon! Here are my excuses!

1. I went on holiday to Hong Kong and China! I will do a couple of post on this soon! I promise! I got some great stuff and had a fabulous time!

2. I have been sick. AGAIN! I have a few vitamin issues that I am currently trying to correct. I need to stop eating so much sugar!

3. I AM GOING HOME! Mr A's work finally put through the all the paperwork and finally told us when we are leaving. We will be hitting Perth again on the 29th of January. So I have been super busy making plans and stuff. Mr As work is putting us up for 6 weeks till we get back on our feet but in that time we need to find a more permanent house, I need a job, a car, a new scooter, furniture and all sorts of stuff! Plus we need to pack up here!!! GRRRAARRRGGG! But I am sooo excited mostly because I get Gretchen, the greatest cat on eat, back from my friends Mel! Kitten hugs!

4. I am starting my own business! It's a little hush hush right now but it is going to be awesome! I am freaking out about it. But again, I have a tonne of stuff to do for it! I will keep you posted!

5. I have been trying to exercise. I have packed on an uncomfortable amount of weight in the last month and clothes are starting to not fit me. Scary times. So I have been trying to shift it by all means necessary. But my body is being hella stubborn BOO! Maybe I'm just retaining water?

So those are my excuses. Crap I know.

Also, I got a blog award from that fabulous Fashion Hayley. She's a Melbourne blogger with amazingly developed personal style and takes kick arse street fashion photos. I love her blog and always look forward to it being updated.

The rules:
1. The nominated is allowed to put the picture on their blogs.
2. Link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate seven other people and link to them.
4. Leave a message on those people's blog to make them aware that they're nominated.

This is my first blog award! Thanks for popping my award cherry Hayley! This is really hard on account of me not actually reading a lot of blogs but here it goes.

Julie in Japan

This blog is the reason I started mine. A super cute girl from Canada blogs about her life in Japan. It give me serious nostalgia. Her posts are always informative and witty and she has a strong opinion on lots of topics which I respect. I love reading her updates! If you are thinking about becoming an English teacher in Japan, this blog is a must read!

I'm not antisocial, just short sighted

The most happening mod girl around, the lovely Miss Karen posts her amazing outfits and fabulous make-up on almost a daily basis. What this little lady can do with a make-up brush astonishes me. He clothes are adorable and she is giving me some serious Genki envy at the moment (I love that store and she keeps buying awesome things from there). Plus we have she same pair of black Zola shoes! Shoe buddiez 4 life yo!

You miss your old familiar friends

Few blogs have me in fit of laughter more than this one. If you were a fan of the show "Full House" then you have to stop by for a chuckle (or in my case, side splitting laugh-fest). Milkman delivers a witty blow by blow review of episodes from various seasons. Her very rational dislike for the UgSnot (aka Michelle Tanner) has me in stitches. My sister thought she was Michelle Tanner when were were younger and started to behave like her. Ug. Seriously funny and seriously worth a read!

What Claudia Wore

I was a MASSIVE baby sitters club fan when I was younger. I dreamed of being Claudia. So stylish, so out there, so dibble! So when I stumbled upon Kim's blog, What Claudia wore, needless to say I way hooked! She goes back through the books and dishes out some classic Claud outfits. It's hilarious. She's also a massive Gossip Girl addict, like myself, which only serves to increase her awesomeness. I *heart* this blog.

music, design, faith

This is my friend Tree's blog. She a precocious young musician/designer/all round talented lady of loveliness. Keep your ears out for her lovely voice most likely hitting the radio near you! She has been playing tonnes of gigs lately the busy little bee! She a super bright future ahead of her. Her blog is her musings about the world and what life means to her. Beautiful and well thought out. Love you Tree!

Well I'm going to break the rules and only do 5. Thanks again for the award Hayley! You're the best!

Loy Loy Kratong!

2008-12-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago here in Thailand, we celebrated the Loy Kratong festival. I was super excited because I seem to have managed to miss every major Thai festival and holiday since I've been here. Loy Kratong is a celebration of the river. People take flower wishing rafts down to the river, light the candles/incense/sparklers and set them afloat. It looks so pretty,all the flowers and lights floating on the water. We (being the usual suspects Nick, Kim, Morgan and Marisa) decided to go to the reflecting pool at the local university instead of the river because a) we knew where it was, unike the river where we weren't sure where we could and couldn't go to release the kratongs and b) figured it might be less crowded. WRONG! it was super crowded and took us forever just to get through the gates. But everyone was in such a festive mood that we didn't really care!

Here is myself and Mr A with our kratong. Apologies for my sleepy/sick look. I had a wicked chest infection that was not being helped by the Bangkok air or all the incense smoke.
Here's Nick and Kim being their adorable selves putting their kratong in the water. There were so many! It was stunning.

Later we bought sparklers and ran around waving them in the air like 5 year olds. Good times were had by all!

I was just really glad to be able to celebrate a Thai holiday! I'm happy it was one that was so pretty!

You better watch out!!

2008-12-17T12:00:00.001-08:00

It's getting to be that time of year again. CHRISTMAS WISH LIST!!

I've just picked up a bunch of stuff in Hong Kong and China (more on that soon! I have many posts sitting waiting to be finished! I am a lazy sod!) but if I had money to spend all over the internets this is what I'd want Santa to wrap up under the Christmas tree.

1. Well I am totally wanting this adorable hat (on a scary mannequin!). I have been after a straw boater for a while now. I think they are pretty neat. I would probably change the ribbon to something more nautical (I have an obsession with it)

2. But these boots really have me in a tizz. They are the dream booties I have been searching for. Sadly, they've been sold already. But damn if it hasn't got me on a search for another pair of these delightful pixie boots.

3. ALLLL of these Harajuku lovers perfume. They are irresistibly adorable. I don't even care what they smell like (which I'm sure is fabulous anyway). They will probably sell out before I can even get my hands on them but it doesn't stop the wanting! They remind me of Kekoshi dolls!

4. Cornelia by Angelique Houtkamp. I have loved her art for a while now. She's a Dutch tattooist turned artist who's talent blows my mind! I own her book. I love her old school Sailor Jerry meets Andy Warhol style. I would fall head over heads if I could ever get her to tattoo me! Since purchasing two lovely paintings in Beijing (not Angelique), I have been lusting for more art pieces to hang in my house back home (which I don't have yet!). This is only a print but it high quality and still beautiful. Sadly it's a little out of my price range. *sigh*

5. Speaking of out of my price range (and more art), I really want a Fawn Gehweiler piece. I love her characters. They make me smile. I love the way she uses all the different shades of pink. But sadly, both are out of my league, especially considering the terribleness of the Australian dollar right now!

6. The Captain Dress by Betty Page. It's the most perfect nautical dress I have ever seen. It's even Blair approved! (from Gossip Girl. I'm so obsessed with it. She wears the pencil skirt version when she is about to fly off to Europe with Chuck)

7. Red Feather Fans. I am in a burlesque troupe back home (more exciting news about this later) and I've been dreaming up and act involving a pair of these gorgeous red feather burlesque fans ala Sally Rand! I want some so bad!

8. Lime Crime Make-up. I've been reading Xenia's blog for years now! And now the amazingly clever darling has bought out her own make-up line! She makes me feel positively lazy! Her products are amazing. These are the ones I covet the most.

Poodle Pink eye pigment. Just look at how it sparkles. It's the perfect girly shade of pink! WANTS!

Blushes in Electric Peach and Marie Antoinette. I have always loved bright coloured blush. I still use my hot pink eye shadow as blush sometimes. So electric peach is right up my alley! I'm also really intrigued my the colour of the Marie Antoinette. I just want to try it!

Transylvania Glitter. This would be perfect for jazzing up my red lipstick for Burlesque! Just look at that sparkle. It would look AMAZING on stage!

9. Rabbit necklace by the French Factory. This necklace is the cutest thing on the planet! Enough said!

10. Cupcake Containers! I will be needing a cupcake courier next year for very exciting reasons! It's a fabulous invention. And well, the little hostess lunchbox cupcake holder is just too cute to resist! I love bento stuff so much!

11. Retro Japanese fabric. oh the possibilities! I could make so so many adorable things!

12. A kitchen aid mixer. I have been dreaming of buying myself one of these babies for YEARS! They really are the BEST! I might be needing one soon anyway so I should just treat myself!

I know it's silly to wish so big in a time of recession but one can dream of all these beautiful things sitting under the Christmas tree, impeccably wrapped. Sigh. Christmas.

Pudt Pasa Ungrit Mai Ka

2008-12-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

Thai is one hell of a confusing language. I am probably the last person who should be writing about this because my Thai is about on par with a two year old. But I wish I'd read up on it a little more before I came instead just picking up a Teach Yourself Thai! (the exclamation is needed. These things always seem to want to make you super excited about learning and of course, that's the best way to do it) CD and hoping for the best. I did want to try and get conversational before I left but I found it difficult to make Thai friends in my situation so I kinda lost the motivation. Also, it's so easy for foreigners here because English is everywhere. I'll admit it, I was just too darn lazy. Plus the chances of me ever using it again are pretty much slim to none.

Like I said, Thai is a confusing language. It's tonal to begin with, which means different tones on different parts of the same word mean different things. You might think you're asking for rice but you're actually talking about your leg. There are also quite a few sounds that we don't really make in the English language like bp, dt, ng and bpl. There are also long and short vowels that differentiate words. Plus, there are masculine and feminine words, most the ending of sentences, krup for men and ka for women. Crazy times! I know your probably thinking"OH GOD! run away! run away now!". But fear not! Here are some tips and tricks I have picked up that should make learning Thai a little easier for you.

1. Learn to read it before you speak it.

Thai, unlike a lot of Asian languages (Chinese=OMG ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY! You do not need 3000 letters!) has an alphabet. The characters are crazy and look really confusing but are easy once you know what they all stand for. There are 59 letters and 4 tones. The vowels (there are 15) are combined together to make various vowel sounds (oua, oi etc. They are not all pronounced the same as in English). I would recommend getting a pocket sized book and carrying it with you everywhere and try and read everything! You might not understand what everything means but to will give you and idea of the sentence structures and you will learn new word, things like exit and or no smoking that you see everyday. They might not always be useful but everything helps!

2. Count everything.

The most important thing to learn in Thai is numbers as far as I'm concerned. So make this one of the first things you learn, along with the obvious hello, thank you etc. And when you do, count everything. I would count my steps as I was walking, my strokes in the swimming pool, the amount of people on the train EVERYTHING! Some Thai people probably thought I was cray on the few occasions I would count out loud "neung, sorng, sahm, see, ha". I found this really helpful in remembering it all.

3. When you learn a word, use it!

This is the biggest struggle for me. I do not have a head for languages. I would spend an hour a day when I first got here jabbering along with the CD and as soon as I stopped, I'd already forgotten everything! But, if I use things that I learn straight away, I find I retain it a lot better. For example, I have no idea how to say where is the toilet, but I can ask where the Chinese embassy is, because I used that. I doubt this is the same for everybody and that I'm just a little slow with languages but I thought I'd throw it in anyway.

4. Make Thai friends.

And just talk to people in general. They are usually thrilled that you want to learn their language and are happy to help. Don't be disheartened if people giggle at you when you try and speak Thai. I am assured that they just think you're cute. Speaking Thai with Thais is also the best way to learn the language properly. I find that CDs and the such like teach a very formal version of Thai that no one really uses.

Here are a couple of words you will definetly need in Thailand. Please keep in mind that Thai people generally will not understand Thai written in English letters.

No = Mai krup/ka (m/f)
Yes = krup/ka (m/f)
Hello = Sawatdee krup/ka (m/f)
Thank you = Kup kun krup/ka (m/f)
Turn left = Leo sai
Turn right = Leo kwa
Go straight = Dtong bai
How much? = Tow lai krup/ka (m/f)
Don't want! = Mai ow!
Drinking water please = Kor nam pow krup/ka (m/f)

This is referred to as taxi Thai or tourist Thai because it's usually all foreigner pick up when they are here. Another little thing to remember is it's always polite to end your sentences with krup/ka. I hope this has been helpful for anyone wanting to learn Thai. I'm no expert but these are all the things I've found that made it that little bit easier.

Dear PAD

2008-11-30T03:49:00.000-08:00

I see have made a mistake in thinking you are, deep down, rational people who will come to your senses and realise how silly you are being. As it turns out, you are crazy fooligans who do not deserve my faith. Where do I even begin in telling you how stupid you are being.

I know you feel cheated and angry that Somchai was elected. I get it. I felt the same way when that damn gnome of a man got voted back in as our Priminster 4 years ago. I was super sad as I beheaded one of my John Howard gingerbread men (I had and election party and made the cookies so everyone could have fun mangling Johnnie boy all night). But here is where we differ. I didn't start a riot. Why you ask? Because he was democratically elected. As much as I hated it, the people of Australia decided that's what they wanted and that was that. The best I could do was not support his terrible policies and not vote for him again the next time. Somchai was democratically elected by the people of Thailand. Your people. Do you see where I'm going with this?

So, even though he has just been elected, you seem to think he is already corrupt. He is going to steal money from the budget and the Thai people, just like Taksin. Word up PAD. You're costing Thailand and it's people 3 billion baht A DAY! That equates to $300 000 USD. People losing work, people can't get their products out to the world, airlines are losing money, tourism is almost at a stand still and well, you get the idea. You are doing the same thing you are alleging the government will do at some point! Hypocrisy in action. I know that you say this is Somchai's fault and if he'd just step down you'd leave and all this money would be saved but you have caused the problem in the first place.

1 millions Thais will lose their jobs next year because of the damage you've done. I hope your happy about that. Can you really live with that? And I see you are threatening violence now. Oh and taken a hostage. Showing everyone how sensible you are hmm?

You are thugs, you are criminals, YOU ARE TERRORISTS! You are stopping tourists getting home to their jobs, their families and their lives. You damaging your own country. Congratulations on making your country the mot dangerous in the world. Idiots. There are better, more democratic ways of going about getting your point of view across. Come to your senses and get the HELL out of the airport(s).

Sincerely

Clara

p.s. If you could get out by Thursday so I could actually go on my holiday to China that would be greatly appreciated. Morons.

I wish I'd known!!!! Chinese visa HELL!

2008-11-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

I just spent this morning in the hell that is the Chinese embassy in Bangkok. I thought I'd share my experience with you because I wish I'd known before I got there. Mr A and I are going to China at the beginning of December and obviously need visas, hence why I went to purgatory.

Before I start, I'll just say that the actual visa process is easy. You have to wait for an hour or so but it's simple and straight forward. You need one photo and a passport and a single entry is 1100 baht. You pay when you pick it up. Easy.

Getting there is not so easy. The address on the website it not entirely accurate. It says 57 Ratchdapiasek Road when it should actually tell you it's on the corner of Ratchda and Soi 3. I spent an extra 10 minutes in the taxi trying to work this out. It also didn't help that the driver kept insisting I was going to a hotel or condo when I'd told him (in terrible Thai) that I was going to the embassy. The actual embassy is on the right of Soi 3 but the building that you get your visa is on the left. I managed to pick up two other lost foreigners who were trying to find it as well. We walked in together and the security guard flashed us the smile that I've come to know all too well. It says "Here come another bunch of suckers".

"You here for visa?" he said. We nodded. He asked to see our passports, which I thought was a bit odd but assumed they perhaps recorded the name of everyone who goes in and out. It is the embassy after all. After ascertaining our nationalities, he gave us the visa forms and said "He'd sort it out for us". I was starting to smell a rip off. I got about half way don't filling out my form and he tried to stop me, and the other guys I was with, from filling out the rest saying "I will do, I will fix.". I told him politely that I would like to fill out the rest of my form thank you. Then 3 or 4 other guys came in all trying to take our forms and passports. "We fix, we fix! No problem!!". I asked them at this point how much the visas were. The said 2000 baht, 900 baht more than I knew it was supposed to be. I told them no and asked for another form for Mr A. The guy grabbed a form for me and then grabbed the passports off me, without me even having filled out Mr A's info and told me to come back in 4 days and that would be 4000baht thanks. Well I snatched them right back and told him I wanted to do it myself. As if I'm going to give a complete stranger my passport and pay an extra 900 baht ($35AUD) for the privilege!!! He shot me a absolutely filthy look and told me to go upstairs. Which I promptly did!

This wasn't on the street. This was inside the embassy, the security guard of the embassy no less! What the deuce!!! Luckily I've lived here long enough to smell a con coming but I can't imagine how many tourists they dupe everyday, pocketing 900 baht from each rip off. Ridiculous! It made me so mad!

I know this is a really boring post but it's something I really wish I'd been aware of before I went. If I can save one person from the rip off I'll be happy. Just remember, if it seems dodgy or to good to be true, in Bangkok, is definitely is.

Don't!

2008-11-16T16:19:00.000-08:00

Before you visit any country, you should do a little research to find out about the culture and see if there is anything you do that might offend or be illegal. Here are a few you should be aware of.

1. Don't point your feet at Buddha or anyone for that matter. Feet are considered the lowest, dirtiest party of the body so to point them is considered especially rude and disrespectful. Inversely, don't touch people on the head, the highest and holiest part of the body.

2. Don't touch monks, especially if you're a woman. If you want to give a monk something, give it to a male companion first and get him to pass it on. Also, always let them go before you and offer them space to stand on the ferry.

3. Don't be naked. This seems like a no brainer but I still see naked peeps every time I go to the beach. Thais, despite the stereotype as a highly sexualized nation, are generally very conservative about their bodies. Public nakedness is a big no no. So when you go to the gym, don't get changed in front of everyone. There are little change rooms you can go into. And for heavens sake! Don't sun bake topless at the beach. I know you don't want tan lines but get over it. Tanning is bad for you anyway. I am talking about guys here too though! I see men (hairy, sweaty, fat men at that) walking around with no shirt on. This is also offensive.

4. Don't point at pictures of the King or talk about the royal family in public. Everyone, and I mean everyone, in Thailand loves the King. Pointing at him is considered rude and talking about the family is actually illegal. If you must point out a picture of the King (they are everywhere) use an open palmed gesture.

5. Don't bring in anything related to "The King and I". Strange I know and I have no idea why you'd bring anything unless you're a die hard fan that can't live without it, but anything to do with the King and I is illegal here. It portrays Rama IV or Phrabat Somdet Phra Poramen Maha Mongkut, Phra Chom Klao Chaoyouhua and was very shocking when it first came out in Thailand because of it's inaccurate portrayal of the King and his relationship with a foreigner.

6. Don't litter, spit or drop cigarette butts, even if you see Thai people doing it. It's very illegal and you'll get a nasty fine if a policeman sees you. Plus it's dirty anyway and gives foreigners a bad name.

7. Don't dress like a skanky hoochie Mamma or a complete Bogan at temples. You MUST cover up at temples. So pants and shirts that cover your shoulders are required. Women AND men!!

8. Don't do drugs mmmkay. They are really, really, REALLY illegal here.

And just generally be polite and friendly not a stupid, loud, ignorant tourist. There are far too many here already!

Moneypenny. Miss Moneypenny.

2008-11-10T21:35:00.000-08:00

The ladies and I were still sick with the dressing up bug after Halloween so when the new James Bond came out (before the US may I add) we decided to go as Bond Girls. I picked up these awesome glasses last week so being a sexy secretary ala Miss Moneypenny seemed right up my alley.

Us with the Aston Martin. mmmmmm. Aston Martin. Kim is Kissy Kazuki (James Bond's baby mama) and Morgan as Pussy Galore (the lesbian cement mixing ex trapeze artist)!!!

Here we are with the man himself. Ohh Daniel Craig. You're such a hottie Mc Hot Hot pants! Those bluer than blue eyes get me everytime. Oh and Nick dressed up as Odd Jobb. It was super super fun and the movie was pretty good too. Not the best. But pretty good. Oh and here are Toby and Mr A in their "costumes" as the bag holders for the photos. That's what they get for not dressing up!!!

Oh Mai Oh Mai

2008-11-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

It was a public holiday here in Thailand a few weeks ago so Mr A took a few extra days off work and we headed up North to beautiful beautiful Chang Mai. It's about an hour by plane but you can also take the train or the bus.

We honestly didn't do a lot. We were both really tired and just needed to get out of Bangkok and relax. There s tonnes of stuff to do in Chang Mai though. There are some beautiful temples, the night markets and trekking though the mountains. But like I said, we just relaxed.

The one and only activity we did was "Elephant owner for a day" at Patara Elephant Farm. I had always purposely stayed away from elephants treks because they are usually super touristy and the elephants are not treated humanely. But Patara Elephant Farm is different. The are focused on conservation and they have only been offering elephant treks for few years. The owner Ben is really passionate about the elephants and how important they are to Thailand.

We started the day by meeting some of the farmers in the area who help to support the Elephants. They sell their produce to the elephant farm which keeps everyone happy. Some of the farmers have been there supporting the Elephants for three generations. We got given some bananas by an adorable little girl for our elephants and then headed down to get changed into our tre chic elephant trainers uniforms.

Once we were all changed and looking sex-ay, Ben came to talk to us about the elephants and how to approach them before touching them. I learnt a whole bunch of things about elephants I didn't know.

Elephants facts that will make you go WOAH!!!

1. Elephants are registered with the department of transportation in Thailand, not Wildlife. They are still considered a valid form of transport and have a little microchip behind their ear that is just like a number plate!!

2. They eat 200kgs of food a day!

3. They have 6 sets of teeth.

4. Elephants sleep only 4 hours a night! Plus they get up every 30 minutes and switch sides because otherwise it puts too much pressure on their organs.

WOAH!

We also learnt that unlike a lot of places that rescue elephants (which are still good and very needed), Patara breeds healthy elephants with the ultimate goal of releasing them in the wild once Thailand's jungle is revived (it was only 20% of the country, now 30% with the target being 40%). He was so passionate and it really made me appreciate Elephants so much more.

Ben then took us to meet our Elephants. Mine was the cutest! Her name was Nui (pronounced Noo-ee) and she used to be a circus elephant until she got to big. She was very sweet and gentle and flapped her ears as I was approaching which meant she was calm and happy. I fed her bananas. FYI elephant tongues are weird.

After getting to know our elephants a little bit, we got taught how to do a health check. More facts on how to tell an elephant is healthy:

1. They have dirt mark son their sides. Elephants sleep lying down so if they haven't got dirt marks it means they have been sleeping standing up, which means they are sick!

2. Elephants sweat from around their toenails! So if they have dry feet, they are sick!

3. A healthy elephant does six or more droppings in one poop. Any less than that and, you guessed it, they are sick.

And you should also check the consistency and the smell of the poo. Which we all had to do. It kinda smells like grass. Grass and poop.

Then it was elephant bath time! First we had to beat off all the dirt with some leaves. Elephants are very hairy and dirty animals!

Washing Nui was made harder by a rascally little fellow named Pei-Mai.

He was 6 months old and unbelievably adorable! He wanted to play with everyone, wanted anything you had in your hand and kept trying to butt heads with everyone. CUTE!!!

You'll also notice that Nui has a chain around her leg. All the elephants still need to be chained up at night to stop them from eating all the farmers crops. It's a sad compromise that has to made in order to keep the peace and save them.

After that we led out elephants down to the water for a good bath. It basically involves throwing buckets of water over them and then carefully scrubbing all the dirt off so it doesn't rub their very sensitive skin when you ride them. They love it! I got a few videos. Keep an eye out for Pei-Mai!

Then it was our turn for a bath.

It should be noted that Nui is the one doing all the spraying. She was so cheeky! I loved that she had so much personality.

Once the elephants where all spick and span we learnt how to get up on their backs which was super fun!!! Noi was the demonstration elephant so I knew I'd have an easy time getting up. Sort of.

Once everyone was on board, it was off for a trek trough the beautiful country side to a water fall.

It was so very beautiful. The elephants were surprisingly nimble, making their was down muddy tracks and around trees with relative ease. When we arrived at the waterfall the elephants couldn't wait to get in the water. They dunked themselves right under with their trunks sticking out like snorkels. Nui quite promptly dunked me into the water too as soon as she was in.

At the falls there was a delicious Thai feast waiting. It was just nice to sit and relax with everyone and watch the elephants. So cute!

We then trekked back to the camp through a beautiful creek. It was so relaxing. I tell you, travelling by elephant is the way to go. You control them by both voice commends and kicking them behind the ear depending on which direction you want to go. It's pretty easy. The only hard bit is stopping them from eating everything in their paths. One of the guys, Shawn, had MaeBoonSorng Pei-Mai's mother and she was constantly stopping to eat anything and everything. You have to stop them from eating the crops and vegetation in the area to keep the farmers and residents happy. Elephants can be very destructive.

We changed how we were sitting for the last leg of our trip through the creek, with our legs facing the front. This was way more comfortable. It made me feel very regal, like a princess of Siam on her faithful steed.

When we finally got back to camp, we were judged on who was the best elephant handler. It was ME!!! As a prize, I got kisses from Nui!

If you happen to be in Chang Mai, I could not recommend Patara more highly. It's expensive, about $250 AUD but you get so much out of it! All the photos you see here were taken durning the day and you get given them as part of the package. You get around 4 hours riding the elephants and an AMAZING experience!

I was sad to say goodbye to sweet Nui but took away some great memories.

Oh and if you do stay in Chang Mai, don't stay at Elegant Lanna guest house. The service is horrible and I got covered in ant bites. Not good!

Ewwww!!!!!

My First Halloween!

2008-11-06T02:34:00.000-08:00

Being Australian, Halloween has never really been a holiday I've celebrated. It's just an excuse to have a party, which is pretty much what happens in America anyway as far as I can understand. I don't think I've ever even dressed in costume on Halloween!! So, seeing as all my friends here are American, we decided to throw a party!

After considering many outfits including Bubbles DeVere, a craft box (made from measuring tapes and bobbins and what not) and Marilyn Monroe I decided to go with the Queen of Hearts. I already had a bunch of stuff for it, namely the heart fabric and red strapless top. It also gave me an excuse to wear my corset. I *heart* it.

I'm really pleased with the way it turned out. The costume didn't originally have the ruffle but I felt a little self conscious without it (the corset makes my boobs look even bigger than normal). Luckily I picked up a big roll of thick red ribbon at the markets 2 days before and had some white fabric left over from another project. I also made a huge bow for the back but I couldn't work out a good way to attach it.

Here's a close up of my make up. Sorry it's so fuzzy. I'm the worlds worst photographer. It was a bit brighter in real life. The flash washed it out. I really liked my heart shaped beauty mark.

Everyone looked amazing! Kim, Marisa and Morgan turned up early and got ready at my house (they had meetings at their school). Kim was a Bollywood starlet! She looked amazing in her hot pink glittery sari (which deposited gold sparkles all over my house! Mr A went to work looking all shiny and glittery on Monday. Tehehehe.). Morgan was the Monopoly Man and Marisa was a butterfly. They both looked super awesome.

Then Nick and Toby showed up......in giant Panda suits, something that could be seen as suicidal in the Bangkok heat. But they were hilarious!!!

The only downside is they kept trying to do things with their "Panda Hands" and as a result dropped a couple of beer bottles on the floor. Silly pandas!!!

And then there was Mr A.

He was POPEYE! I made his shirt. Well actually I bought a cheap shirt and changed the buttons, added cuffs and put on the sailor collar. It turned out so well! I was really, really happy with it.

Little known fact: Popeye is a Guitar Hero.

Here are some the other peeps, eatin' my cupcakes. My lovely friend Natsuko, who brought a whole bunch of snacks, is the one in the red shirt with the horns. Dwight is the scary bloody doctor, Gaew is kissing the cupcakes and Pavnee has the red mullet!!

It was a great night! I made 2 kinds of cupcakes (and forgot to take photos AGAIN). Chocolate cupcakes filled with peanut butter and vanilla with cherry pie filling centers. They were shaped like hearts and they bled when you bit into them. I managed to get the filling looking pretty realistic.

Anyway, well left our house at around 10.30 to go visit and dance to Lee Shamrock. Lee is a genuine one man band. He is also the master of the quiz we go to every Tuesday (we won this week!).
We had a crazy fun time! We totally took over the pub! Marisa won a bottle of champers for her costume!

Which we promptly drank. Followed by more dancing!

We finished the night at Sunrise Taco, a place of 24 hour Mexican heaven. Twas quite funny walking through the Bangkok streets in costume. Some people had no idea. They probably just thought we were crazy farang. Which is true I guess! It was a great end to a even better night. My first Halloween, SUCCESS!!!

PANTS!!!

2008-10-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

The unimitable Queen Gilda

Just a little update on the Hammer Pants contest! If you look a few entries back you'll see the ridiculous video of me dancing to hammertime which was my entry to the comp over at Queen Gilda dot com.

I didn't win but the lovely Gilda is making me some pants anyway, along with another 4 people that entered but didn't win first prize! That shows just how awesome she is!! I'm so excited!!!!! Hammer pants will be MINE!!!!

Helsinki Beauties

2008-10-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

Piksi

Irene_Adler

I'm also obsessed with these two girls flickr photo streams. They both live in Helsinki and have the most amazing sense of style. Their use of coats and layering is making me crave colder weather. I love the way they use colour. They also make me want to:

a) move to Helsinki, perhaps even defect and become Finnish;

b) shop at H & M. They both seem to have a lot of stunning items purchased from there;

c) buy Minna Parikka shoes and bags

d) dress up every day!

They both also seem to have a heap of great thrifted items. Is the vintage shopping really great in Helsinki?

Dang it! I want to own a really stylish coat! ASAP!

Sorry for the lack of actual pictures. Flickr wont let me post them! BOOO! You'll just have to go look for yourselves.

UPDATE: I found one of the lovely lady's blog by pure chance! It is pretty darn adorable!!

Tea Time

2008-10-24T17:57:00.000-07:00

necklace

ring

I am completely obsessed with these items from Charlie Ccbb on etsy.

I'm obsessed with etsy in general at the moment. I suggest everyone go check it out! You can find some fabulous items hand crafted with love.
Also, I think someone should buy me this little set. Go on! You know you want to! I would love you forever and ever and ever.

Creepy!

2008-10-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

Photo by sujathafan

Bangkok has a pretty big Indian population, especially around Nana where I live. Which means there is a lot of delicious Indian food near me! YUM! I also find Indian people very friendly and interesting. I'd love to go there one day.

But I have had a problem with some weird Indian guys here. It happened the first time in MBK (a huge shopping centre). I was just coming out of the donut store with snacks for myself and my friends who were in the adjacent store when this Indian in a turban (nothing quite as fabulous as the gentleman in the photo) approached me.

"Excuse me madam" he said "On the outside you look healthy and happy but on the inside you are not well."
I was too shocked to say anything and he kept going. "You are going to get very sick and die soon. Your heart is also not happy. Would you like to go take a seat and talk about your life."

At this point I managed to splutter out "No thank you. I'm with my friends" and went to walk away. But the guy blocks me and says "Excuse me but we are talking about your life not you friends". I got really mad and told him that I didn't feel comfortable talking about my life with a complete stranger and push passed him back to my friends. I got quite upset by it and rally creeped out. I calmed down by the next day and forgot about it.

Since that day, this has happened to me half a dozen times. Always young Indian men wearing turbans, always telling me I'm sad on the inside. I just shrug it off now. But as it turns out, similar things have happened to all my foreign friends here. It happened again to me today.

Does anyone know what these guys are about? They are seriously creepy!!! I'd like to know why they say this sort of stuff to people.

Nam Sooay Mak Marr

2008-10-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

Mr A and I decided we needed a little jaunt in the country to get away from the hustle and bustle of BKK. After some umming and ahhing we decided on Kanchanaburi, about 2 hours North West of Bangkok. So we hired a car and took to the (scary) roads of Bangkok armed with printouts from google maps and pretzels.

We have both been to Kanchanaburi several times before, just for day trips to see the river Khwae and the tiger temple. It's very very gorgeous. But we had never really explored the place before. So we decided to take in the waterfalls, caves and beautiful scenery.

Our first stop was Erawan National Park and it's stunning 7 tiered waterfall. This place is super popular with tourist but it's also a favourite picnic spot with Thais too. This time of year is the best because it's the end of the rainy season and the falls are fit to bursting and at their most stunning. There are also less tourists (peak tourist season is November to March). It costs 200 baht to get in for tourists which will actually get you into any part of the national park for a day so it's not a bad deal! We trekked right up to the seventh tier which took about an hour. It's pretty slippery and the climb is a little tough so I would recommend wearing sturdy shoes. It was totally worth it (and made me feel better about missing the gym that day. Tehehehe). Nature at it's very best!

Here's a fun little guy. He's licking a wrapper. There were tonnes of moneys around the place, all sneaking off with tid bits from people's pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi bear has nothing on the sneaky Thai monkey. While we were there, some monkeys were fighting and one of them fell into the pool right near a Thai girl. Hilarious! He had to swim back and shimmy back up the tree. Feeling sorry for himself I'm sure.

One of the best things about the falls is you can swim there! The water is clear, fresh and clean. But....there are fishys. I hate fish. They are slimy and scary and EW. And these fish nip you. It doesn't hurt but it feels gross. They are trying to eat the dead skin off your feet. I hear they do this in Singapore as part of a pedicure. EW EW EW! I can think of nothing worse. I do not want fish eating me! So......I armed myself with Pokey: The Fish Pokin' stick.

It was taking me ages to get in the water. Here I am mincing around and squealing like a wuss "NOOOOO the fish will get me".

Next thing I know, I'm in the water because some Thai guy push me in! How rude! But I'm glad he did. The water was lovely and cool, just what we needed after the sweaty hike up the falls. The waterfall was great too. Standing under it was like getting a free massage!

Lovely! We were pretty whipped after the hike and the swim so decided to head back into town and find somewhere to stay. After a fruitless search through overpriced shitehouse bungalows and terrible toilets, we stumbled upon Apple's. The rooms were simple but comfy and ultra clean(and cheap! $10AUD for both of us!). The owner, Noi, was lovely and helpful. You also MUST eat in their restaurant. Then food is authentic Thai. Very delicious and very cheap! It's also right on the bar strip which means it's very easy to go out on the town. But even with Black Eye Peas thumping out of a pub across the road, Apple's is still amazingly quiet and serene. It has a really nice garden area where you can sit and think. But bring the mozzie repellent because there are quite a few of them around.

After a good sleep in and one delicious apple pancake courtesy of the delightful Noi, we decided to go to Lawa cave. There are heaps of lovely caves around Kanchanaburi and Lawa is supposed to be the best. We managed to get horribly lost as the signs stopped being in English and we went about 15 minutes past the cave. But the scenery was beautiful so it wasn't a bad thing.

We found our way back to the turn off and decipher the Thai sign to work out which way we should go. The cave was pretty amazing. It was still living which is unusual in Thailand. The usually get carved and turned into underground temples. And there were BATS!

I LOVE bats! I think they are adorable. I have a weird thing with animals in Thailand. I see a squirrel and I go nuts. I see bats and get super excited. I think monkeys are pretty cool. But I'm so blahsay when it comes to Elephants. I think it's because I see them every day on my street and they get soooo annoying sometimes because they block the street you need to go on so you can't get through. I've almost gone careening into an elephant butt before when I was running to get out of the rain. I've have friends come to stay and they squeal when they see one. I'm just like "Oh yeah!"

But anywho, Lawa cave was really nice. It was surprising warm. I always expect caves to be cool and wet. There were some really lovely rock formations.

After the cave, we had some lunch by the River Khwae and then head back to Bangkok. I would recommend it to anyone visit Thailand. The country side is beautiful, the sights are breathtaking and the people are friendly. What more can you ask for?

Gender Benders

2008-10-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

Photo by Shambles Work & Play

I *heart* Katoey (known in the West as Lady Boys). They are an integral part of Bangkok's Gay and Transsexual community. They are also known as Lady Boys. They can be very very convincing and beautiful. They are always look FIERCE! There are some grotty ones but they are mostly in the really horrible seedy bars, strip joints and ping pong bars (which I have actually been to -perhaps a post on that later tehehehe).

Quite a few Katheoy are sex workers or hostesses in bars. This has lead to a lot of Farang (foreign guys being wary about picking up Thai girls (a lot of Kathoey still have their manly bits - not always desirable for the heterosexual male). They can also be very aggressive and annoying with their advances. But so can the regular ol' Thai prostitutes. Apparently they are responsible for of a lot of the bag snatching and pick pocketing crime here too, taking advantage of the gross, rich farang that congregate here like weeds, slipping their wallets out of their pockets when they are sloppy drunk.

But like anything, these generalisations do not apply to everyone. This is why I think Katoey are awesome. They don't want to hit on me. They just want to chat about girly things. They usually speak awesome English so are great to chat to. They can give you a really interesting insight into gay culture within Bangkok.

It's quite refreshing to be in country where people are so accepting of GLBT people. Generally anyway. Kathoey are not quite accepted as just being run of the the mill gay. Fathers are apparently very disappointed if their sons become Kathoey. Which is pretty much as good as it gets for some guys in Australia. I find it strange sometimes that Thais are so accepting of transgender individuals but can be unbelievably racist (I will write something on this soon). I think it may be because most Thais are Buddhist and are therefor very accepting of other people's life choices.

If you get a chance, go see a good Kathoey cabaret show. The costumes are amazing, the dancing is fabulous and the girls are stunning. It's a very unique cultural experience!

Stop! Clara Time!!

2008-09-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

I am probably going to regret putting this up but what the hey! Every time I watch it I giggle at it's ridiculousness. So why not share it!

So the I have been reading the blog of the loveliness that is Queen Gilda for quite a while now. She is super lovely and stylish and funky. She has an internship at Patricia Field for gods sake! She makes AMAZING clothing. So when she announced a competition in celebration of her etsy store I just had to enter. It was for a pair of her sparkley hammer pants for goodness sake!

I initially meant to enter almost immediately. I wen t all around Bangkok looking for awesome 80's clothing. To my annoyance and frustration, there wasn't any. I couldn't even find any awesome 80's fabric to McGyver my own pair of hammer pantsy goodness. So I gave up.

But when Gilda put up the last call for entries, my pants wanting senses went into over drive and I HAD to enter. It was a force of nature.

I rushed round the house trying to find some suitable hammer-esque attire. I found the god awful orange snow jacket that Alex got in Japan (I hate it with the burning passion of a million suns). And for the pants I found some star spangled fabric in the back of my wardrobe that I thought would do just fine. I quiffed my hair into a faux flat top, pulled on my high tops and slapped on my aviators. To be honest the hammer pants felt like I was wearing a big nappy. I was safety pinned and all. And that jacket was daaaammmmm hot in the BKK heat!

After watching the video twice, I decided I had a basic knowledge of how to hammer dance. And away we went. A slightly grumpy Mr A was the director and cinematographer. After several take with major wardrobe malfunctions (i.e. the pants falling of) we managed to get one where the pants only fell down a bit and I looked a little less spazzo. And voila! There you have it. Clara Time! Enjoy! I don't think I'll win. Arabelle made ridculously awesome video that I think will have me beat, but I had fun anyway! Enjoy!

Houston. We have a problem.

2008-09-09T00:50:00.000-07:00

Photo by telwink

Some bad news from the world of cupcakes. I suppose this does present me with a good opportunity to explain to me what I'm doing here in lil' ol' Bangkok.

Mr A got transferred here for work just over a year ago. He is an engineer for a company that requires him to travel a lot. I didn't move with him to begin with because I was a very bad time for me to leave Perth. We had only just gotten our first cat and I refused to leave her while she was so young (we got her and found out a month later that Mr A was leaving). I also had a few important opportunities happening for me in Perth. I wanted to see how they would pan out. Plus I was already planning to go on a trip to Japan and through Asia so I figured I'd stay for a few months in Bangkok. So that's what I did. I wasn't planning on coming back for so long but Mr A's contract got extended by 6 month so I figured I'd just get a visa and move for the rest of the time he was here.

It was a pretty huge decision for me. I had already quit my previous job (which was actually pretty good), left behind a pretty awesome spot in my burlesque troupe and most traumatically, my cat, Gretchen (as I have previously mentioned, we couldn't bring her to Bangkok for quarantine reasons). But it was a good decision. I love it here and love being here with Mr A. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mr A's contract is up in January so there was a good chance we wouldn't be going back to Perth. His company was taking their sweet arse time deciding where to send him (which is evident in the fact they extended his contract here in Thailand by 6 month - they hadn't bothered to decide where to send him next). So he had been putting feelers out for Angola, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Angola would be month on, month off so I would have Mr A all to myself for a whole month and he would be earning the mega bucks. LA and San Fran would be just plain awesome. Plus I have friends in both those places. I had all these plans of working part time and maybe studying. Perhaps do a professional baking course. So when his company finally had a meeting about where they were sending the grads, I was so excited. So many options.

Here is where they want to send us: Houston. HOUSTON! The most boring city in Texas. At least this is what all my American friends tell me. They are all like "ohhh, you don't want to move there." Even people from Texas say that!!! It's so far away from everyone! No-one will visit me there! I can't visit anyone from there without is costing an arm and a leg. The weather is terrible for my cat and as far as I'm concerned there is nothing for me there. I am so mad at A's work for not even taking in his location preferences. Stupid corporate jerks.

So we are going to try and get his transfer changed to a different location. I flat out refuse to move there. I would have to completely start over and I seriously think it would be the end of me. I am not a Southern girl. I refuse! Cross your fingers for me!

Clara

xoxoxox

Swimming in the Rain

2008-09-08T02:57:00.000-07:00

My lovely American teacher buddies came over for a swim in our lovely roof top pool. Sadly, the Bangkok weather had other ideas for us and issued a down pour of biblical proportions. Lightning and thunder too! It's the wet season here so the weather can be pretty unpredictable. As I am typing the clouds are gathering and I can hear thunder in the distance.

So after about 2 hours of sitting inside (and several G & Ts) we decided to hoof it up to the roof, with our drinks, in our togs and go for a dip. Even when it rains here it isn't cold so that wasn't a problem. The temperature was peeeerrrrfect. We took Mr A's Olympus camera up with us, which is actually waterproof, and of course that resulted in some ridiculous photos. It was crazy fun! Here are just a few of them. (Kim sadly didn't go in the water - she was scared of the lightning.)

Marisa, Morgan and Me in the rain!!

Kisses!!!!

Mr A and Nick - drinking and linking buddies!
My attempt at being "fierce". Mr A ruined it! Tyra would totally call me out for my left foot not being pointed anyway (I have developed a HUGE obsession with America's Next Top Model)

Gosh he can be a worry sometimes.

YEAH!!!!!

Circle of friends. Mr's A eyes freak me out in this picture!

Fun times were had by all. It was still raining when we left the pool. Once we dried off we had more drinks and played the champion drinking game of "Guess that Cover!" It was pretty hilarious. These guys are the best and worst thing about living overseas. They are wonderful because they are so so fun and great to go out with but I'll miss them like crazy when I leave!! I will be super sad!

Phuk-it.

2008-08-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

My sister decided not to come to Bangkok (and we weren’t sure if we would even still be here when she booked it) when she and her partner D came to Thailand. So we had to visit her at her holiday destination of choice, Phuket. It luckily coincided with the Queen’s birthday public holiday so Mr A took an extra day or two off work and we headed on down to tourist mecca.

I was pretty jazzed about seeing my sister. We’re not super close but still get on a lot better now than we used to. Hanging out with her and D is always interesting. They are the epitome of opposites attract. You practically have to use a crow bar to get a conversation out of D but you’d swear my sister only breathes so she can keep talking. She never, ever shuts up. I think that’s why she and D work so well. He likes to listen and she likes to talk. All.the.time.

Phuket is somewhat of an Australian institution, especially for Western Australians. It is probably the most popular place to visit, perhaps only behind Bali, because is it cheap, both to get to and once you are actually there. It’s only a 7 hour flight to, which is about as long as it takes to get from one side of Oz to the other so why wouldn’t you go?

Here's why: it's horrible! I have never felt so uncomfortable being somewhere in my whole life. We got to Patong where we were staying and I almost went into shock. Neon signs, go go bars, people hawking things on the street and filth everywhere, hardly the picturesque beach get away I was expecting. It was even smellier than Bangkok (when I got back I was so happy to breathe in the air, which is hilarious because Bangkok air is still disgusting by any ones standard). And there were no Thai people. All the stand were run by Indians who are very aggressive (more on this later).

Our hotel was pretty nice compared to the places we usually stay but was still only just worth it for what we paid. We got it on special because it was the low season and they were renovating tho pool. Luckily my sisters hotel had three huge pools otherwise we would have died. We got free breakfast as well, which was pretty horrible and tasteless, which was sad because I love free breakfast. But ham sitting in a baine marie full of water was just not appealing. The best thing about the place in my mind were the photos they had of the lobby of the damage done by the Tsunami in 2004. The lobby was completely gutted. There were cars and giant logs and so many other bits of crazy junk. It's amazing how well everything has been rebuilt.

You might ask why it was a problem not having a swimming pool when we were surrounded by the beach. Well there are several reasons:

1. It is the off season so the weather is a little cooler and the water is really choppy;

2. You can't go near Patong Beach without being constantly harassed by people to hire jetskiis, cars and motorbikes, to get massages, hair platting and manicures and to go parasaling and on various diving tours and Elephant treks. It is so completely annoying;

3. The water is filthy.

We found one great beach on the other end of the island called Paradise Beach. It was a private beach so you paid 60 baht to stay there but it is worth it. We also found this great waterfall to swim in. We hired a little yellow jeep for a day and drove it around (the only truly nice day me and Mr A had). We went to gibbon reserve as well which was lovely. Gibbons are my favourite primate and this place was lovely. Not at all tacky. They take gibbons off people who have bought them illegally for pets, rehabilitate them and release them. You couldn't hold them or pat them which is unusual here. Then we walked up to the waterfall which was simply breathtaking. The water was so clear and cold and refreshing. There were all these Thai high school kids there wagging and smoking. It was so funny. Most of them were swimming in their uniforms. A couple of the kids were jumping off the rocks into this tiny little bit of water that was deeper than the rest. It was crazy. It was such a lovely way to cool off after a long day driving.

Sadly we had to go back to the real world. We went out that night to the main night life area. There are bars there for every nationality. Swedish, German, Arab and of course, English and Australian. If you like getting shitface drunk every night then I guess Phuket is for you. The drinks are pretty cheap. I didn't really like it. Too many drunk idiots! And people everywhere trying to get you to go to see ping pong shows (I have been in Bangkok, you only really need to see it once). They are really aggressive and wont leave you alone. There was also a guy with a very sick looking iguana who would sneak up behind you, put it on your shoulders, take a picture and then demand money. Gross. The only awesome thing were the Kathoey. They are at a whole new level in Phuket. They get dressed up in all their finest frippery and head out on the town. You can take photos with them for 20 baht. They are AMAZING.

The food is okay in Phuket. Western food is blah as usual*. But if you search around you can find some great Thai. If you like seafood (I don't) you can get it ridiculously cheap here. If you are sick of it there are all the usual fast food outlets around if you really feel the need (like my sister who had Maccas 5 times).

*side note: you are way more likely to get food poisoning for Western food than Thai. Trust me.

Now, to the Indians. When I first walked along Patong I thought "Where are all the Thai people?". All the hawkers almost are Indian and man are they aggressive. They are all smiles and trying to shake your hand. When they have got it they don't let go and try to lead/drag you into their store. You have to physically yank your hand away. The worst thing though is the Australian accents. You walk past and they go "G'day mate! Suit mate?". They know a little of almost every language apparently. There were so many Australians there because it's winter back home and it's also the off season so it's very very cheap. So people just assume you are Australian. The whole place was just jam packed with horrible bogans and their horrible accents. I just wanted to block my ears and run away. Australians behave horribly overseas, especially in a resort location like Phuket. It just sets a bad example for everyone else. I'm a firm believer in behaving the same way on holiday as you would at home. Being on a holiday does not give you the right to be disrespectful and behave like a trollop/jerk. I got so sick of the Indian hawkers that I started telling them I was from Uzbekistan and Lithuania (to which one guy replied "Oh Lithuania! Jiggy Jiggy sexy boobs." Nice). This made it a little more annoying.

My sister love it there but Mr A and I was so relieved to get back to Bangkok. I breathed in the comparatively sweet smelling air, walked down the street unmolested and paid only 10 baht for my roadside fruit instead of 50. It made my realise how wonderful BKK is and how much I'm going to miss it when I leave. It will be a very very sad day.

I would recommend not going to Phuket to anyone who'd listen. There are a million nicer places to go like Hua Hin and Krabbi. Think about it a little before you book a trip, that all I'm saying. Oh and whatever you do, don't go to Fantasea. If you have ever seen a stage show at any stage before in your life, you will not be impressed. And definitely don't get the buffet. It's gross.

Just for giggles, here's a photo of Mr A feeding an elephant :P.

Story Time

2008-08-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

I loooovvvveee books. I can spend hours and hours in a bookstore drinking it all in. I'm not specific either. Books of all kinds make me happy weather it a novel a cook book or a nice, fresh, still-in-the-plastic moleskin diary. Heaven. So when I need a fix in Bangkok, I head to Kinokuniya.

Kinokuniya are a Japanese chain of bookstores. Apparently they used to be a coal mining company??? Weird. Anyway, They have the best range of books in Bangkok. They sell books in Thai, English, Japanese and Chinese. Their store are big and airy with shelf upon shelf of tasty delights just waiting for your perusal. I feel so happy and comfortable there. They have an excellent comic book area *squeal*. I have also doubled my cookbook collection thanks to this lovely store. They have a great range of Chronicle cook books, my favorite. Kino's has magazines to, including Frankie!!! Hooray!!!

My favourite is the Siam Paragon Store. It's on the 4th floor of the department store. They have a cafe in there to that make pretty good coffee. Sometimes I buy a couple of books and while away an afternoon there. The one at Emporium is pretty good too. I have found a few things there that I've never seen at Paragon. The Kino's in Central World is the smallest and it also has the smallest range of books in English. It has more of a Japanese focus (as does the whole department store which is why I love it!). If you're into Japanese craft books and magazines this is the place for you!!

There is also B2S in Central World, another book store (they sell cd's too). It has a large range, but not as good as Kinokuniya. They also have a cafe but the atmosphere isn't as nice either. Like the Emporium Kino's though, B2S can have some interesting books you can't find anywhere else.

So if you need a literary fix, head to Kinokuniya. I promise you will not be disappointed!!! Why can't we have a book store like that in Perth (and don't tell me we have Borders, the range there is crappola and the coffee is Gloria Jeans. BLECH!!)

Oh!!!!! and If you are in Singapore you need to go the Kinokuniya in Takashimaya! It will blow.your.mind.

Hot and Bothered

2008-08-06T17:55:00.000-07:00

For the first time since the beginning of the year, I weighed myself. I've been exercising a lot more as I have a gym and a pool in my building. I try and swim everyday. I've also been walking as much as possible. So it was a bit of a shock horror moment when I looked down and had PUT ON WEIGHT!!! 5kgs no less! WHAT!!?? I couldn't believe it. I mean, I never never ever expected to be teeny tiny. I'm 5"4 with boobs and butt so I'll never Kate Moss waif-esk (thank god!!!). I'm more in the Scarlett Johannsen category (although she is 9kgs lighter than me *gggrrrroooaaan*). Living in Thailand gives you a bit of a weight complex to begin with. I feel like a giant here. The girls are so itty bitty. There is not a drop of fat on them. Their frames are tiny to. I don't usually get too upset about it until I go clothes shopping and the shop assistant holds up something that looks like a moo moo.

So, instead of getting sad and mopey I decided to get off my arse and do something about it. I had heard excellent things about hot yoga. I had been wanting to get back into yoga anyway to try and regain some of my flexibility, strengthen my knees and improve my balance. Hot Yoga is pretty much the same as regular yoga except it's done in a room heated to 37 degrees. It's supposed to help detoxify your system and warm your muscles up so you can push stretches further. You also sweat like woah!!

I shopped around for a studio that had everything I needed and found it in Absolute Yoga at Amarin Plaza. I swear, it's like this place was made for me. The studio space is wonderful! Firstly, the studio is HOT PINK (no-one else finds this as exciting as I do)!!!! Secondly, all the class times are very convenient for me. Thirdly the studio is walking distance from from my house. I could go on and on listing the awesome reasons that I love this studio like how clean the change rooms are, how helpful and friendly the staff are, that they have plastic bags for your gross sweaty clothes, how they supply all the towels for you and so on and so forth. The teachers are wonderful too. Very encouraging and always will to come over and help or give advice after class.

The classes themselves are a hard slog. I both hate and love them at the same time. The teachers are fantastic at describing exactly what you need to be dog and what your body position should be. I always simile when we're doing a position and the teachers say things like "One day your knee will be in your armpit!!". You kind of think "Do I really want that to happen??". I usually do the 90 minute class. At the end of it I'm ridiculously sweaty but pretty blissed out and a little tired. I have this wonderful stretched out limber feeling which I keep for about an hour. It's totally worth doing the few positions that are a bit painful, like the half lotus OUCH!!!!

I would definitely recommend stopping by if you are in Bangkok and feel the need for fitness. The classes are a little pricey individually at 600 baht a pop but if you're here for a while they have different membership packages that might suit you and that will save you some cash.

I love it. I'm totally addicted, which is saying a lot considering how much I hate sweating all the time here and I'm now going somewhere to sweat on purpose. Oh and it turns out I haven't put on any weight. I weighed myself on the (hopefully) more accurate scales at the gym and I've actually lost 2kgs. Which means I never really needed to go to yoga anyway. But I'm glad I did!!!!

Round Round get Around how I get Around YEAH.

2008-08-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Photo by Stuck in Customs

Bangkok is a pretty huge spread out city. Luckily there are half a dozen or so easy ways to get around in relative comfort and ease. And for cheaps!

1. Taxis

Taxis are generally* the easiest way to get exactly where you want to go in the City. They are everywhere and there is hardly ever a shortage(*cough* Perth *cough*). The flag fall is only 35 baht and goes up in 2 baht increments. It's the only way to get from the airport. It can be a little bit confusing because you'll have a million people INSIDE the airport asking you if you need a taxi. Ignore them. They'll cost you twice as much. Head outside and find the desk that say public taxi and tell them where you are going. They'll set you up wit a driver and you're off. At the most it will cost you 400 baht to the city areas, including 2 tolls and a 50 baht airport fee. You even get a receipt. Make sure you know how far you are going in kms if you can and check fee the chart in the taxi. I have heard a few stories of "broken" meters going up twice as fast as they should. You also want to check that they turn on the meter anytime you get in a taxi. It's unusual that they don't but it pays to be careful.

Remember that you should almost never have to barter for a taxi. If you are in a really touristy area you might have them offer you a (ridiculous) price rather than a meter. Send them on their way and wait for the next one. This might also happen when it's raining. You can't really blame the taxi drivers for trying to make an some extra cash but it can be annoying. If there is no other taxi around you might have just bite the bullet and get in. But barter and bring the price down to something more reasonable. Especially if you know how much it should be.

In the end, taxis are air conditioned, comfortable and the drivers know where they are going. And so so cheap. You could use them all the time, all day every day and not go broke, unlike back home. It makes me feel a little posh being able to swan about with my own chauffeur all day. Tehehe.

*avoid taxis in peak traffic at all costs. Bangkok traffic is insane at peak hour. You will not get to where you're going on time and be sitting there for ever and ever in the bumper to bumper traffic. And it will cost you way more than it should.

2. BTS and MRT

Photo by bangkok_diary

The cheap, no traffic, air conditioned way to get around BKK are the above ground Bangkok Transit System and the below ground Mass Transit System. I use these the most, the BTS more so than the MRT, only because I live right near the Nana BTS station. The King is was one of the main supporters behind getting the train up and running to help Bangkok's chronic traffic problems (it's still awful! I can't even imagine how bad it was before). It will cost between 20-60 baht depending on the stop. Keep in mind the BTS and MRT use different tickets so they are non transferable. If you are here for more than a week, I'd recommend purchasing a Skypass for the BTS (I'm not sure what the equivalent is for the MRT, I don't use it enough). It will set you back 130 baht (approx. $4.60AUD) but that includes money you can use for fares. It makes it much easier and quicker to get into the station and the fares are cheaper too.

The down side to the BTS and MRT is that they don't go everywhere. There are 2 BTS lines and 1 MRT. But the up side of this it they are super easy to navigate. And they go to quite a few of the main tourist and shopping areas, namely Siam, Chitlom, National Stadium and Mo Chit. They also get super crowded during peak hour. But it the train is too crowded and you can't get on, there will be another along in a few minutes or so. You never have to wait long.

Definitely give it a go if you are here. It seriously make live so so so much easier when the traffic is terrible. I know some people are super snobby about public transport but please. Get over it. It's a great way to get around the city and it's better for the environment so suck it up. Oh and one more thing. Thai's will rush onto the train like their lives depend on it. It's just because they want a seat and you'll have to do the same if you want one!

3. Tuk-Tuks

Photo by iceviriya

I have already written a whole post on how much I loathe Tuk-Tuks. Since then I have found out that they get 90 baht for every place they take you to so just keep that in mind. But just to re-iterate, Tuk-Tuks are a lousy, smelly and complete rip off of a way to get around the city. Don't do it.

4. Motorbikes

Photo by reallygoodphoto

You'll see people on motorbike with little orange vests. These guys are motorcycle taxis. Now I am possibly biased because I have never been comfortable on the back of a motorbike and that I had an accident that totalled Sid (my bright yellow Vmoto). But these are Dangerous with a capital D for death. I use them only when I am running late for something and need to get to the BTS ASAP but that is a whopping 1 minute ride up my Soi. Mr A catches them all the time from his work to Mo Chit and a workmate has his own bike that he rides home every day (Mr A catches a lift with him sometimes too because he lives on our Soi). To be fair, they are very cheap and can't be beaten for speed in peak hour because they can zip between the cars. Thais catch them all the time. You'll see girls in skirts riding side saddle, not even holding on, checking their make-up with one hand and clutching a hand bag with the other. But here is why I don't like them.

You don't get a helmet. As a rational person, I like to keep my brains on the inside of my head in the event of a crash, which is the main function of a helmet. If you do get one, it's the equivalent of a bicycle helmet. Woo! I also like to keep all my limbs attached to my body. Most of the beggars you see in the street who are missing limbs are that way because they have been involved in a motorcycle accident. Bangkok traffic is INSANELY dangerous for motorcycles. I've seen three very nasty crashes since I've been here and considering I haven't seen one (aside from my own) the entire time I've been living in Perth, those ain't good odds.

If you want to take them you can. Like I said, they are cheap, great in peak hour and quick in a pinch. But for me, the risks just aren't worth it.

5. Buses

Photo by anormynous

I have only ever caught one bus in BKK ever so I can't tell you an awful lot about them. Like I said, I live right on the BTS so that's the most convenient thing for me. I do know they vary in price from about 7 baht to 35 baht depending on the route and what type of bus. They are great if you live somewhere with no BTS/MRT access. They are much less Farang friendly though with less signs in English so it may be harder to pick the right one. A few of my friends catch them and have never had any problems. They can be unreliable because of the BKK traffic but otherwise I can't see a problem with them aside for working out where you need to get off!!

6. Ferries

Photo by hn

This is my FAVOURITE way to travel in BKK. Cruising down the Chao Praya River. It's so cool and refreshing. The river is a little dirty and smelly but I don't care. It cost between 13 and 22 baht to go as many stops as you like one way. The ticket people are usually really friendly in helping you work out where you need to go and what ticket you need. I catch it from Sathorn (Central) Pier from Saphan Taksin on the BTS, usually to go to Wat Po for a massage and to pick up some flowers. It takes you right to a few of the most well known tourist spots such as Wat Po, Wat Arun and the Grand Palace along with China Town and Kao San Road (god knows why anyone stays there! It's so out of the way!). You need to take a cross river ferry to get to Wat Arun but there are lots of signs to let you know. It will set you back a whopping 3.50 baht. OH NOES!!! I can also recommend trying to get the Chao Praya Tourist Boat. If you get a good guide it can be very informative. You can also see all the shacks and temples along the river. Very interesting.

As with any form of public transport in Bangkok, the ferry can get very crowded. It can also be a little daunting jumping off the boat to the dock, especially if you have a pen chance for impractical foot like moi. When it's jam packed with nervous tourist who aren't sure where to get off and crowd the exits, it can be annoying too. But those are the only down sides to it. Otherwise it's just wonderful! It's like your in some old movie, like the African Queen!

These are just the ways to get around the main areas of Bangkok. It's all you would need if you're staying within the city limits. I shall do a post later about how to escape the daily grin and get out of the city. I hope you find this information helpful in getting around the BKK comfortably, without confusion and without getting ripped off!

My New Baby!!!

2008-08-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

Meet Jemima!! She's a Janome Junior (I love Janome. My mum always told me it's the only sewing machine brand I should buy). She's super portable and tiny. She comes with her own carry bag and everything! Super shmick.

I've been pulling my hair out for 2 weeks trying to find a little machine such as this. Mr A said he was sure he had seen them in a department store. The only machine I had ever seen was a pink Hello Kitty (super cute!!!) one in this little San Rio store. But he refused to buy me it because it was waaaaayyy over priced. So I went looking elsewhere. I found one for $30 but it was super dodgy and only straight stitched. I couldn't even adjust the tension!! So I trekked to every department store in the downtown Bangkok area and asked in every fabric store. Nobody had a clue! Finally, we went to the San Rio store and checked out the machine there. It was exactly what I needed. But Mr A was determined that he had seen them somewhere else cheaper. We went into the Central department store near his work and sure enough, there they were! It took me all of 30 seconds to decide Jemima was the one for me. LOVE!!!

I can finally start making a dent on the fabric I have been accumulating at a very scary pace. Stay tuned for many many crafty adventures staring Jemima & Clara! Hooray!

Cheap and Cheerful!

2008-08-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite places to go in Bangkok is the flower market. You just take the ferry from Sathorn Pier down to Monument Bridge and walk back towards Tha Tien Pier (I normally walk from Tha Tien though because I get a massage at Wat Po first). It used to be a fish market but it was too smelly and was causing a lot of pollution so the King turned it into what it is today. I forgot to take my camera with me (as per usual) but I am going with Kim in the next few weeks so I will take some then. But here the flowers I got yesterday.

Aren't they stunning!!! You can buy just about every kind of flower you can think of at the markets but my favourites are the orchids. I would never be able to buy them in Australia because they would be around $20 a bunch. But I got the purple ones for 20baht (60 cents) and the red and yellow ones for 70baht ($2.30). CRAZY!! They last for ages if you change the water every day and they make my apartment feel more like a home.

I just love the purple orchids. They almost look like someone has painted them by hand in the most luscious shade of purple they could find.

These are also so so so lovely. They are flower rings for Buddhist offerings. A Thai guy told me they were very lucky. The little white flowers smell wonderful too, which is the main reason I buy them. They make my house smell fresh and sweet. I wish I knew what kind of flower they used. They usually only last a day or two. I get 3 out of them if I put them in the fridge overnight. It seems to keep them fresher. But at only 40baht ($1.30) each I can't really complain. Just look at the exquisite detail! It must take them ages to make.

*le sigh* So pretty.

When I was in Vietnam

2008-07-28T17:10:00.000-07:00

Photo by Lupiote

It was a public holiday a few weeks ago so Alex took a few extra days off and we crossed the border to Ho Chi Minh city in Vietnam. I was pretty excited because Vietnam has always been on my list of places to go. Mr A had already been to Hanoi so that's why we chose Ho Chi Minh.

Our holiday started off most excellently. We booked the cheapest of cheap flights on Jetstar so were pleasantly surprised when we got to the airport and found we were actually on Bangkok Air. Slightly bigger seats and free drinks! Wooo! Our flight was only an hour so we couldn't really take advantage of it but it was still awesome! We got to Vietnam and had to get our Visas. We could have got them beforehand but Alex needed his passport so we couldn't. Although we were one of the first people at the visa office, the lady processing them was just picking them out of the pile at random so we were the last people out. Our driver for our hotel pick up was left waiting the poor guy.

Our hotel was right in the middle of the backpacker area. It was really nice for only $30 a night. The bed was two singles so we had to push them together like a naughty 50's couple. We got free breakfast as well that you picked off a menu, not just 2 pieces of shitty dry toast and orange juice from concentrate. There were pancakes!!! (which I possibly had for breakfast every morning with lime).

Ho Chi Minh is not the most exciting city in the world. It's just another city. I found it quite similar to Bangkok. There are way more scooters than cars and way more street hawkers. You have to say no to sunglasses and shoe shines all day long. We even had one lady chase us down the street after we asked her how much a Lonely Planet book was she was selling. We decided we didn't want it but she chased after us for a whole block yelling at us to buy it. There was also a hilarious beggar on our corner who just yelled "GIVE ME MONEY!!" at people. The markets aren't as good as Bangkok but it is cheaper. It does make a great base however, to explore the surrounding area. And eat.

We spent most of our time just relaxing and walking around the city. But the second day we were there we went on a tour out to the Cao Dai temple and the Chu Chi Tunnels. It was only $7 for the whole day so we thought "Why not!". We crammed into a mini bus with about 12 other people and we were off. Our tour guides name was Slim Jim (his Aussie nickname apparently). He had reasonable English and fought for the North in the American war (which is what they call the Vietnam war in Vietnam) so he sounded like he might have some interesting stories. At first I thought he was going to be awesome. But as the day progressed, it turned out he was actually an arsehole.

This is him here. He repeated everything he said. By that I mean, he'd tell us something and then say "so basically..." and repeat it all again. And again. And again. Nothing basic about it. He was so irritating. If you asked him a simple question he'd either yell at you that he didn't know or give you an answer that didn't relate to the question at all. And we couldn't stay to look at anything for very long. He'd be all like "Here is this blah blah blah thing" wait 5 seconds "Okay next!". We seriously couldn't stop to look at anything. He was just so rude!!! I don't know what he was hurrying for. We got back to the city 2 hours earlier than he said we would. Maybe he just needed to get back and get his drink on or something.

But the up shot was, it was still an interesting day. We had a couple of friendly people on our tour so that was nice. There were these two super arrogant dutch guys who were kinda annoying. But that's pretty par for the course (for the record, I'm half dutch so therefor have a lot of dutch family. I am yet to meet a dutch man who isn't a jerk). We drove for 2 hours out to the Cao Dai temple. Cao Dai is an odd religion. They worship elements Buddhism, Christianity, Taoism, Islam and possibly some Hindi thrown is for good measure. It has only been around since 1920 after some guy had a vision. They go to temple 4 times a day or so, similar to Islam and the call to prayer. They usually wear white robes in the traditional Vietnamese style or, depending on their high official rank (like bishops and stuff), either red, yellow or blue. The temple itself is really gaudy. I wasn't a fan, especially because it was brand new and made of concrete. I have to say the visit was interesting, but not a extra 4 hours out of my day interesting. We were only at the temple for 1 hour and it took an extra 3 hours there and back. I would recommend only doing the half day just to Chu Chi. And to top it off, two German tourists were 10 minutes late back to the bus and Slim Jim went ape shit at them.

Chu Chi was much more interesting. The are these crazy tiny tunnels in a forest that the Chu Chi Viet Cong used to get around below ground to avoid enemy troops. They are sooooo small.

They had to widen one out for tourists to go in, and even then I was still bent double the whole way through. There is tonnes of other interesting stuff there, like all the booby traps the VC used to set for American troops. Some of them were seriously vicious.

We also watched a video when we first got there that was told more from the VC side of things. It talked about the evil Americans and how they were defeated by the brave Viet Cong. There were some bits that were like "School girl Tan Nguyen took up a gun to avenge her parents and killed 24 Americans. She was awarded a medal as top American killer!!". I found it really interesting because talking to some of my American friends, the fact that the US lost the Vietnam war is really played down. But in Vietnam, they are so proud and basically yell it from the roof tops. The contrast really makes you think. There are tonnes of war relics still within in the forest, like old tanks and bomb craters. Very very interesting. I would definitely have it on my list if you go to HCM.

After that, we didn't go on any more tours. We wanted to relax, the complete opposite of the disaster that was Slim Jim. So we just did the walking tour, went to markets and museums and ate. Holy craps we ate so much food. Vietnamese cuisine is DELICIOUS! The #1 thing everyone eats there is Pho. It's clear rice noodle soup with some vegies and sometimes meat. It's a complete meal in a bowl and super yummy. We went to this great restaurant as well, where they cook every thing at different stations which is really interesting. The staff are fantastic as well. If you are unsure what to dip in what or how to roll your own rice paper rolls, they will come over and help you. And they always have great recommendations. We went there twice!!! The other great meal we had was in this little french bistro. The food was amazing and soooo cheap. The dessert was mind blowing. I had creme brulee and almost died it was so good!

At the end of the 4 days, we were ready to go home. We made our way to the airport and checked in, on a Bangkok airways flight again mind you (yay!). I definitely had a good time. We achieved what we wanted with our little holiday and had a nice relaxing time. If you are going to Vietnam, I would recommend going to HCM for 2-3 days max and then head to Hanoi. That is definitely somewhere I want to go soon. Halong bay looks wonderful!!!

Oh and I almost forgot! Beauty stuff is really cheap there! I got eyelash extensions done! It only cost $20 and took about 2 1/2 hours. I was about ready to scream at the end of it. Lying there with your eyes closed for that long while someone pokes them with tweezers is not fun. But the results were amazing! It looked like I was wearing false eyelashes all the time. They are pretty much all gone now but they lasted for about 3 weeks! My camera couldn't get a good closer up though so no picture. I also got my arms and legs waxed for $15. I had four girls doing a limb each all at the same time. I now know the true meaning of pain!

Censored

2008-07-27T03:34:00.001-07:00

Censorship of movies in Thailand is a bit ridiculous and hilarious. They have no problem publishing pictures of people maimed in road accidents on the front of the newspaper but censor the strangest things on TV and in movies. Here is a list of all the things they feel the need to censor. This mostly just on TV. They generally don't censor movies at the cinema, which a few exceptions:

1. Smoking. If someone is holding a cigarette like my lovely girl crush Scarlett Johannsen is demonstrating there's not a problem. But the minute someone puts the cigarette to their lips they blurr it. I guess they think this will deter people from smoking. It's funny because, like Australia, you can't smoke inside any where but they don't ever bother to enforce it. I just find it really hypocritical and stupid.

2. Drinking. Again, like smoking, they blurr it every time someone takes swig. It's so distracting and annoying.

3. Violence. If someone points a knife at someone BLURR! Point a gun BLURR! Head gets blown off BLURR! Or the scene gets cut completely. Forget about any blood and guts. That would just be CRAZY! But punching people is okay. They don't blurr that.

4. Nudity. You aint gonna see no arse on Thai tv. Or boobs. They just fuzz it from the neck down. Porn movies and magazines are illegal here too. But you can buy it from every DVD store in the city. I just don't see the point in blurring it. You can pay $10 and see a Thai woman shoot darts out of her hoo-hoo for goodness sake!!

5. Sex. I know this is very similar to nudity. But it's the only thing I have every seen blurred at the cinema. I went and saw the SATC movie and all the sex scenes were blurred from the neck down. It was ridiculous! It already has an R rating and everyone there were adults. It annoyed me so much! What did they think they were achieving? I think society is a little over sexualised, it's true, but COME ON!

I just find it beyond stupid. Do they really think blurring it is going to stop people from binge drinking and smoking and having sex? I think they could put this effort into more important things, like helping the homeless and sorting out the traffic problems. I always find it funny when governments waste time and money on useless things. Like the bell tower on the Perth foreshore. Priorities people, priorities!!!!

Thailand: Land of Stares

2008-07-25T08:53:00.001-07:00

Photo by Goatsfoot

Being stared at is something I've never, ever been comfortable with. It just makes me wonder what the other person is thinking, which doesn't always take my mind to good places. I was really nervous about it before I went to Japan because everyone told me "Oh you get stared at constantly by everyone" and even "People try to touch you". This is totally not true. I only had one kinda odd time in Gion where I noticed some Japanese tourists taking pictures of me leaning against a wall (what are they going to do with them? Go home and say "hey check out this neat tourist I saw!!" Pft). Even when I went to the Onsen nobody batted an eye. But Bangkok, which has a huge expat population plus countless tourists, it's another story.

Men seem to be the main culprits. I think this is a boobs thing. Thai women don't really have big boobs or something I guess. Even though I don't speak Thai "Woah check out those tits!" sounds the same in every language. Especially if I hear the world "Farang" in there somewhere, I know they are talking about me. I get this mostly from construction workers, tuk-tuk and motorcycle taxi drivers. They don't even look at my face. Totally gross.

The other reason I think is that I wear sunglasses. Nobody wears them here, except the occasional taxi driver and blind people. This I think makes people believe that you can't see them that well. So they stare you directly in the eyes, thinking you won't notice. Well I do, and it's creepy. I always wonder why Westerners are generally the only people wearing sunnies here. I can barely face the day without them. And so many Thais work outside, you think they'd use them.

Taxi drivers stare a lot too. Every time they go past, they stare at you intently in case you make some gesture that might indicate you want a taxi. Sometimes they stop and beep their horns at you, even if you haven't shown the slightest interest. It can get a little creepy and odd from time to time.

The other people that stare are kids. Occasionally they yell "Farang" at you but they lose interest quickly. It's totally innocent.

It does frustrate me, especially in Bangkok, because there are so many other foreigners here. Surely they are used to it by now. I guess perhaps staring isn't considered to be so rude in Thailand. I just wish people wouldn't. I feel so uncomfortable here already most of the time because I'm so huge compared to Thai women (and men a lot of the time too) and the staring just makes me feel worse.

My top tip (for women) for not getting stared at is carry a parasol. This works for me sometimes because so many Thai women do it they don't look twice. Plus it protects my very pale extremely burnable skin. So it's win win!

Sorry for the absence of blogging (Lexi. Tehehehe). I will write something up in the next couple of days on my trip to Vietnam and my Creme Brulee cupcake experiment for the Wii Guitar Hero party the Mister and I are having tomorrow night. Stay tuned! (Lexi! p.s. I miss you!)

Sole Solution

2008-07-13T04:49:00.000-07:00

I think I have found my sandals. After looking at every market, shoe and department store here and coming up empty handed, I switched to searching online. with the American dollar the way it is, online shopping has become a lot more attractive to me. I originally was looking at gladiator sandal which aren't really my style because I know I can get them everywhere. Then I decided to swing past my favourite vintage shoe page Remix and saw these. Remix is a very dangerous place and gives me shoe lust like it is nobodies business!!! The Corazon Sandals are totally more my style and oh so cute to boot. Complete catooney goodness. I really like them in Red but will probably get black as it's a bit more versatile. If the Brown was a bit more chocolatey I'd get those instead. GAH! The more I look at them the more I love them. They are,however, a bit on the pricey side. Are they $150USD worth of cute? Survey says YES! But I will only get if I get a really good sized tax return, which I expect I will as I only earned around $18 000 in the last financial year and Alex and I no longer have defacto status (we haven't lived together for a year). With a few little deductions I should be able to get all of my tax back, something which hasn't happened for a long, long time. Last year I got $30. Anyway, I totally think these are the solution to all my footwear problems. They can go from the city to the beach in a flash, I could maybe even Lindy in them! I am going to go back and look in my two favourite shoe stores here I last time to see if there is anything but if not, I'm be ordering these babies before you can say "Oh my god!!! Your shoes are so cute! Where did you get them???"

p.s. these in the tan and chocolate make me swoon!!!

Elly Like Ichigo!

2008-07-12T05:08:00.000-07:00

WOOO! Cupcakes!! I made these for a Wii Party last night. Super double chocolate cupcakes with strawberry butter cream and chocolate fudge icing. Just my favourite Donna Hay chocolate cupcake recipe with my own crazy icing concoctions. I got the idea for these cupcakes from my favourite Japanese chocolate snack thingies, Meiji Apollo. A weird name I know but I love them. I got hooked when I first went to Japan at age 11 and have been pining for them ever since. So when I went back last year, I went to town on them. Thankfully, they are just as available in Bangkok as in Tokyo!

They turned out really well I think. I still need to improve my icing technique. I always put on way too much, almost the same height at the cupcake. But I'm definitely getting better at the double icing. I'd like to get the line between the colours a little more definite. I really like the icing flavours together though. The cakes look like they are wearing little pink skirts! The flavours balanced each other out well too. The strawberry was super sweet and light and the chocolate was super rich and fudgey. MMMMM!

Plus everyone really liked them, which is the most important thing I think. I will totally be baking it heaps while I'm over here. I have all these new ideas! And then maybe I can do something with it all when I get home. The Clara Cupcakes Bakery!

Water Baby

2008-07-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

Swimming is my new favourite pastime. I've always really enjoyed it and could never understand people who'd go to the beach and not go in the water. I don't really find sun baking that exciting. I am always the first person in the water and I don't do any of that mincey mincey errrrr it's cold crap.

But I've always just kind of floated about and relaxed, which is fine and dandy. But I've actually started doing laps. I find it very soothing and relaxing. I can just switch my brain off and swim. I normally swim for about 30 minutes a day which doesn't sound like a lot but by my reckoning (1 lap = 30 seconds) it's around 60 laps. I makes me feel much much better and totally refreshed at the beginning or end of the day (sometimes both!!). I guess not having easy access to a pool for so long (when I moved to Perth I was too poor to have a pool membership), I never really developed a lap swimming fetish. Now the pool is only 9 floors away you can't keep me out of it. I plan to make the most of it for the next 5 months! Hooray!

This would make it even more fun!!!

Cupcakes and cocktails are totally poolside attire!! No arguments!

Princess Dreamin'

2008-07-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that I really, really, really want this head piece from etsy? It from the seller charm school design, who has some really lovely other things for sale as well. I don't think it's too pricey ($42USD) for something hand made and one of a kind (which is the great thing about etsy!). But is it too much? Since I have been doing Burlesque, my style has become decidedly overstated. If you saw my Hullabaloo 2008 ball dress I think you understand what I'm taking about (in the middle). I have always had a deep seated love for giant bows, sequins and feathers, I just think now I actually have the guts to wear it. So maybe this will be one of my tax return purchases. And this. And also this. And maybe this too. *squeal!!!!!*

**I've just noticed everything I've picked is very "Blair" from Gossip Girl. Oh dear, I've become one of those people. It's not so bad :)

Putting Up Walls

2008-07-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Ever since LC of Fops and Dandies fame blogged about these wall decals from BLIK I've been a little obsessed. With the price of housing in Australia at the moment, especially in Perth (you're looking at about $500,00 in a decentish suburb for a a place that is okay with no backyard), I can imagine I'll be renting for a really long time. So I think this is a really great way to a add something special to a room when you can't paint or put up pictures. They are taken from Threadless t-shirt designs. I think they are really beautiful. They wouldn't look great in my apartment here in BKK. Most of our walls are wall papered so I don't think they'd stick very well. If we move to San Francisco next year I think I will definitely have to look into getting some for our possibly awesome apartment (I say possibly because I am told rent there is wickedly expensive to).

I love the balloons but I also love these branches and let's go parasoling . You can also get these laser cut perspex ones from Australian Company Made By White. They are kinda pricey but include postage so I guess it's not so bad. I can just imagine my sewing room having these whimsical little tidbits on the wall. LOVE!

The Gretchie Monster

2008-07-06T06:19:00.001-07:00

This is my cat Gretchen. She's a blue British Short hair purebred and she is the most adorable cat on the planet. Her pedigree name is Sumibo Kitty Fantastico (the breeder let me pick it!). I miss her every day. I can't have her here in Bangkok, partially because we can't have animals in out apartment but mostly because we couldn't bring her back to Australia ever. We have really strict quarantine laws and Thailand isn't on the list of safe countries. Plus she has a really thick coat (her breed originated in the UK - the weather is not exactly tropical) so she'd die in this heat. Her coat crackles as well, meaning it splits and moves when she walks. It's just most amazing colour. It really does look blue sometimes.
She likes to sit with me when I sew. By sit with I mean she sits on whatever pattern of piece of material I'm sewing. She love to sit amongst the clutter like I do. Every time I get my sewing machine out she gets this excited look in her eyes and is up on the table as soon as I put anything on it. ADORABLENESS!!!
She's also very glamorous as you can see. We like to go for walks outside and she wears her purple harness and sparkly leash. She's an indoor cat which I think is very important in Australia. We have a lot of rare bird and endangered marsupials that are perfect for kitties to catch and play with. Gretchie has short legs and is a bit chubby but she has a surprising turn of speed. I have no doubt she could catch anything that came into her sights. Pedigree cats are generally less capable of looking after themselves than moggies. I'm also a little scared someone might steal her. She is adorable and friendly. Who wouldn't want her? Plus there's the whole being run over by a car thing.

This is her "hunting". She's obsessed with moths. When there is one in the house she goes crazy! Sometimes I catch them for her like this in a glass. She loves it and gets so excited. When she sees one now she looks at me expectantly and waits for me to get it for her. She sits there and looks at it for about half an hour before tipping it over. Then the real hunt begins. She has that moth pinned in under a minute. She looks so proud and happy.

This is her the day I got her. She loved that little white mouse that's next to her. She was 12 weeks old and de-sexed already. SO tiny and so cute. When I showed people this photo they thought she wasn't real. She does kinda look like a doll!

Gretchie is really obedient for a cat. She sits on command and walks on a leash. Brits are really intelligent. They use them all the time in movies and commercials (she's the same breed as the the Whiskas cat just a different colour). They are also great house cats. Super super low maintenance. Gretchen is really playful. She likes to play chasey and fetch. She's kind of strange like that. They are odd things for a cat to like. She really loves to play with water too. Sometimes I'd walk out in the morning and there would be water all over the floor because she'd been playing with her water bowl. But she hates baths. She makes a pretty good alarm clock too, meowing in my face, sniffing me, poking me with her paws and sitting right on my chest (this is actually the most effective one, she weighs 6kgs and that's a lot of cat to be sitting on you).

I hate having to leave her in Australia so much. She lives with Alex's parents so we can have her back anytime but it makes me feel so irresponsible. Hopefully, Alex and I are moving to San Francisco next January so we will bring her over with us. The quarantine is only 3 weeks if we can prove how healthy she is before she leaves Australia. She travels really well so that's why I think she'll be fine. I used to take her to peoples houses for visits all the time so she's used to travelling. She likes being in the car because it means she is going somewhere exciting! Alex and I don't really care how much it costs to bring her with us. She's our responsibility and we love her to bits. I mean, would a parent leave their child behind because it costs too much. I don't think so! She has already tried to stow away with me once before!!

Fingers crossed (cross yours for me to!!) that we get the San Fran move. I really want to move there. Everyone tells me it's amazing. I'm sure Gretchie would love it too. I am actually planning to get her a sidekick once we settle somewhere. I think that will greatly reduce her boredom and stress when we move somewhere else. It needs to be a cat with a similar temperament because I don't think Gretchie could handle any kitty that was too full on. I'm thinking a Scottish Fold Short hair named Cupcake. Oh the Adventures!

Desperately Seeking Sandals.

2008-07-06T02:07:00.000-07:00

Today I went shopping at Platinum. It's just down the road from Central World/Zen (my favourite department store here). Platinum is where a lot of the young hip things in BKK shop for hot this minute trends at bargain prices. I go there for the accessories. Shopping here for me is a little depressing. I'm not huge (size 12 AU sometimes 10) but even if I worked out all day every day and at nothing but leafy goodness, I would never be as small as a Thai girl. I have boobs and an arse, something which most Thai girls lack. I can buy shirts but they are usually too short. I often walk into stores and the assistants will immediately say "Miss, no size!". And I can forget about bras and undies here too. I stocked up before I left.

So anyway, today I went on a mission for sandals. I'm sick of just wearing my black canvas sneakers all the time every time I go out. They don't really go with anything but are comfy and don't kill my feet. So thought sandals were the perfect solution. I hate thongs (flips flops to you Americans, not the equally uncomfortable and gross underwear) with a passion. I do have a pair but they were a last minute buy so I wouldn't ruin my pedicure and they were only 99 baht. They are actually pretty comfy and have a cute frangipani on the strap. Normally thongs make my feet ache and shred the skin between my big and second toe. But even if they are comfy, my feet get wicked dirty in them walking around Bangkok and the thongs themselves look just as grotty.

I bought a black and white pair last time I was here that reminded me of the sandals my Oma wears but the soles fell off in Singapore. They had this weird red paper inside and it flicked up all over my legs (it was raining). When I looked down I panicked for a second because I thought I'd contracted a tropical Skin Disease. I've seen them a few times since but won't by them again because they just didn't last long enough. I know gladiator sandals are in just about everywhere right now so I thought it would be easy to find a nice, simple, flat black or brown pair. Thailand rips off trends pretty quickly. But how wrong I was. EVERYTHING was either sparkly, heeled or thongs (or crocs.......I loathe these more than thongs. If you wear these abominations pretending to be shoes you are dead to me). I did find one cute pair but of course, they weren't in my size. It's sandals people! They are a shoe staple!!! After searching every soi on every floor and having no sandals to show for it, I decided I must have angered the accessories gods some how. Defeated, I started down the escalators to make my way home. And that's when I saw it.

Clearly the shoe gods hate me but the Hat gods do not. Ever since I saw the Sex in the City movie, I have been lusting after the hat Samantha wears in this scene:

Normally, I despise everything Samantha wears. Too much fluro for my taste and shoulder pads out the wazoo. *Bleck*. But this is pure skin protecting, vintage movie star, glamazon gorgeousness. FIERCE! As much as I loved it I never hoped to find anything like it for a reasonable price (I bet this hat cost at least $500).

I got a little burnt at the beach on the weekend. This is a huge problem for me because it puts me totally out of wack for at least a week. I don't know why but it just makes me feel sick. Anyway, I thought I'd look for a sunhat so I'd at least be a little more protected. That's when I found this:

Isn't it just the most fabulous thing you've ever seen! It was $50 which was more than I was looking to spend on a hat but I couldn't resist. I feel so glamorous when I wear it. I know Alex will hate it but I love it and that's all that matters. It's like my own little personal shade. It's not quite as big as Samantha's but it is pretty darn close. I can't wait to wear it too the beach! *squeal*

(sorry I look so sweaty and gross in this photo. I call it Bangkok Chic.)

Oh I also got an Anna Sui-esque black hand mirror (sorry, I couldn't get a good photo). There is something wonderfully decadent about hand mirrors and Anna Sui for that matter. *love*. And it was only 40baht ($1.30AUD).

Do you like my hat?

Swish Swish

2008-07-05T04:21:00.001-07:00

I'll let you in on a little secret. I eat more Japanese food than Thai. I know, I know *slaps hand*. Don't get me wrong, Thai food is sooooo delicious. I do eat it a couple of times a week. But Japanese food is very popular in Bangkok right now so it is hard to avoid. Plus it is also delicious and oh so healthy. My favourites things are sashmi, japanese curry, okonomiyaki, karaage, zaru soba, shabu shabu and ramen. Oh god I love ramen. It's delicious in Kyoto.

So I've been feeling a bit sick and didn't feel much like going out so I decided to rustle me up some Japanese grub. Plus I don't cook for myself enough anymore. I mosey-ed on down to my local Villa to get some inspiration. I decided on Shubu Shabu and Zaru Soba. Shabu Shabu is extremely popular in BKK. There is an all you can eat Shabu restaurant here called ShabuShi that usually has a 2 hour wait to get in! It's insane!! But it is very good. They even have sushi included on the menu. Not bad for around 300 baht ($10AUD).

I don't have a Shabu pot, which is kind of like a fondue heater thingy. I figured that if I boiled the water that would be enough. The pork is wafer thin and cooks in no time. So I made a chicken and garlic broth (I didn't have any miso) and had pork, mushrooms and bok choy to go with it. I even managed to find the same sesame dressing that I had at my host family's house in Gunma. It's so good, I could drink it. MMMM! I couldn't find any spring onions and forgot to buy nori for the zaru soba but it was still great. I think I maybe over cooked the soba a bit but meh. They are so refreshing in this hot weather, especially with the cucumber pickles. Japanese pickles and very mild and subtle compared to western pickles which I don't really enjoy.

Photo by Kamoda

I found some Daifuku at Villa as well. It was only 15 baht so I thought I'd grab it. Specifically it was ichigo daifuku (strawberry). I have a love hate relationship with this stuff. I love the taste but the texture gets to me sometimes and makes me gag. I should have remembered this. I didn't put it in the fridge and when I bit into it I almost threw up. The Bangkok heat had just made it too soft and icky. It tasted great bit I couldn't manage to swallow more than one bite. Sadness! I had some tasty rose apple instead

It's a really lovely night tonight. I might go for a walk to the park at Phrom Pong and possibly go to Kinokuniya (this place is like my catnip, more on it later and how it sucks we don't have one in Perth).

In the mean time, why don't you go out and get some Shabu Shabu (or make some yourself!), with some some sencha or iced tea for sippin'. I promise you wont regret it.

Stinkeye Man - Update

2008-07-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

Photo by Lynn Marsha UK

3/7/2008 - tried smiling at him when walking into the gym. I thought that I perhaps hadn't given him enough of a chance to not be a douche bag. Experiment failed. I was met with THE STINKEYE! Mission for next week: try to take covert pictures of ol' Stinkeye "working out*". Mwahahahahahhahaha

*By "working out" I mean "using every machine for 30 seconds between ambling around the gym and grunting and not wiping my gross sweat off anything that I use"

A weekend away

2008-07-02T19:11:00.000-07:00

Photo by Gsy Donkey

So the past weekend I got out of the grind and grime of Bangkok and went to Ko Samet. Ko Samet is the cheapest and closest beach island get away from the city. It's really fantastic and relaxing. And it will cost you next to nothing.

The best way to get there from BKK is by van. It's a little more expensive than the bus but totally worth it. You go to Victory Monument and just ask for a van that's heading to Ko Samet or Bang Phi. It should cost you about $200 baht for the 2 1/2 hour journey. You want to try and be there early-ish so you don't get stuck squished on the back seat (it's bad trust me). Once you get to Bang Phi pier, you take the ferry across to Samet. That costs 50 baht and takes around 30-45 minutes. At the Samet pier you jump on a ute (20 baht) which will take you all the way along the island to where ever you need to get off. You will need to pay to get onto the island (this is pretty standard all over Thailand; Ko Samet is classed a national park). It is 40-200 baht depending if you're a student or not.

Once you are actually there, you need to find somewhere to stay. All the cheap places don't take booking so you will just have to try your luck. Be careful in high season. Places book out quickly, expecially on the weekend. You may find yourself hiring a tent. I suggest Jep's. No air con but the bungalows are in the shade so it's not too hot. Plus they are crazy cheap, 300 baht a night (approx $10AUD). And then once that's all sorted out, you can start to have FUN!

Samet is really a relaxation island. There's not a lot of activities like some places aside from the norm (motorcycles, jet skis and snorkeling) so you are pretty much free to swim and Frisbee and all that jazz. The water is lovely and refreshing although strangely more salty than back in Oz. I'm not really sure why that is. There are tonnes of beach chairs you can lounge about on for a mere 25 baht a day. Bargain! Drinks are cheap too. This is the land of the bucket drinks. By bucket I mean, a kiddies sand castle bucket filled with booze for about $7 AUD. This does mean there are a hell of a lot of drunken idiots on Samet. Namely drunken foreigner idiots. But they can be ignored.

The only shitty thing about Samet is the food. I have found it to be a little bit so so at all the beach front. One think I can recommend is orange chicken and som tum. You'll see people walking up and down the beach carrying two baskets on a pole. Keep an eye out for for the ones that have a grill on one side and a mortar and pestle on one side. Get yourself some of the chicken and a big pile of som tum (god I love som tum). Unless you like your food really spicy, I suggest you ask for it mai pet (no chlli). There is usually enough chilli left in the mortar to add enough spice.

Oh and there are a lot of beach dogs but honestly, they are a lot cleaner and healthier than the dogs in Bangkok. They keep out of your way. Keep an eye out for a "white" dog (by white I mean, she has some white fur on her body along with some patches of skin and mange) . Her name is Cow, which means rice. She's the ugliest dog you have ever seen but she is well known on the island for protecting people when they are in trouble. I always try and give her some tidbits when go.

Oh and people please!!! Put on sunscreen! I see so many foreigners that look like lobsters. Get in the shade occasionally and please, please, PLEASE put on sunscreen every hour. I feel burnt just looking at them. And Scandinavians, quit sunbaking topless on the beach. I'm not a prude but I don't like seeing boobs when I go for a stroll. Plus I wouldn't want all the gross old men that hang about on Samet looking at my lovely lady humps. Speak of the devils, wearing g-string speedos is not okay for anyone, let alone 60 year old men. I don't want to see all you business and I'm sure many other people feel the same way.

It really is a great get away weekend from Bangkok (aside from the Old man arse) if you need a break from the hustle and bustle. It's way more laid back and friendly. A great place to unwind. And if you take the ferry back, you might get this awesome driver and his wife on the way back to Bang Phi. Drinkin' a Chang beer and gutting some fish. Enjoy!

Thailand Essentials

2008-06-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

There are, in my mind, a few essential things needed when you come to Thailand. You might not agree with me on all of them but these are the things I use on a daily basis.

1. an umbrella. This may not seem very important in a place that has such lovely weather. But mine gets carried around with me everywhere for a reason. In the rainy season there are always sudden unexpected down pours (so pays to expect them at all times). In all other seasons it's pretty hot and sunny and you are half as particular as I am about my skin, you'll be wanting to carry a brolly with you on these days too. It functions as your own personal shade and stops you getting burnt. A lot of women (and men!) do it to so don't worry about looking odd or out of place (Westerners see wrinkles as the first sign of ageing but for Asians it's skin discolouration and freckles so they stay out of the sun to avoid it happening early). If anything you'll fit in more. I even take to the beach with me so I can go for walks and always be in the shade.

2. a fabulously huge sun hat. This does the the job of keeping me out of the sun when my umbrella isn't practical, like on the ferry and sitting outside to eat. Plus it makes me feel ultra glamorous. Nothing bad about that.

3. a gorgeous pair of bathers. This is actually something I don't have yet but I'm totally on the hunt for a great pair. I've always thought vintage style bathers are far more alluring than modern ones. I have my eye on these, these and these. Oh and these. So pretty, too hard to chose.

4. long sleeved cover up. This is important for a couple of reasons. It gives you instant skin coverage in case you are getting too much sun (if you haven't noticed, I'm obsessed with keeping out of the UV). The other reason is, when you go into a lot of temples, you are not allowed to show your shoulders, sometimes even your arms*, because you need to demonstrate modesty to for the monks. But wearing this all day in the sweltering high Thai heat is both unpractical and unnecessary. Just pop the shirt in your bag and take it on and off as needed. Much better than the hassle and ick factor of borrowing clothes fro the temple.

*you'll also need to be wearing long pants/a skirt. This goes for guys too. Can't be showing those offensive ankles.

5. sunglasses. A MUST. You'll notice Thai people generally don't wear them. In fact, I have been made fun of quite a few times by Thai's for wearing mine "Hello, can you see me? ahahahahah!!". But I can't leave the house without them. What's the point of being all squinty all the time. All it does is give you wrinkles.

6. an adorable coin purse. You will accumulate a silly amount a coins. I find most purses and wallets are not equip for large amounts of shrapnel. I always like to use up my coins and give exact change (it's part of how I've been learning to count in Thai but more on that later). So my coin purse is invaluable. I use it so much, it's worn a hole in it.

7. high high high SPF sunscreen. I know I sound like a broken record (protect your skin RAAAAHHH) but it really is very important. The amount of foreigners I see, especially at the beach, burnt to a crisp is unbelievable. It's just soooo bad for you people. CANCER! I put sunscreen on 30 minutes before I leave the house no matter what I am doing or where I am going. At the beach I reapply it every hour and as soon as I get out of the water. Your skin will thank you.

8. face wipes. These are mostly a must for Bangkok. All the grime and filth in the air can really ingrain itself in you skin and it feels wonderful to was that muck off. These little babies just make it easy. They are also super convenient for the beach. TIP: keep then in the fridge for maximum refreshment, especially if you got to much sun at the beach (naughty naughty).

9. water and plenty of it. I think that explains itself really.

10. flat shoes. I walk everywhere. Walking around in high heels in Bangkok is a death sentence for you ankles. The pavement is all over the freaking place. Crack, holes, grates that are half fallen in, you name it I've seen it and walked over/around it. So if you're going to walk anywhere in BKK flat shoes are the safest and most comfortable option.

11. a hand fan. In case you haven't noticed yet, Thailand is freakin' hot. And not just hot, humid. So most foreigners sweat like pigs on spits. Fanning yourself just takes the edge off and stops you from looking like a drowning victim.

12. peppermint tea, my secret weapon. Don't get me wrong, Thai food is delicious. But it can upset you stomach like nobodies business. Not because of food poisoning but because of the spices. Most people just have a little trouble digesting so much ginger, garlic and chili. It can result in a painfully bloated belly. To counter this, I keep a huge jug strong, cold peppermint tea in the fridge. Fixes it up in no time. Brew some the night before in your hotel room and carry it round in a water bottle. You wont regret it.

Is there anything you think I should add?

This is completely gratuitous but I am completely obsessed with Polyvore. I would love to wear this to the beach! I consider that to a Thailand essential. Tehehehehehehe.

My Arch Nemisis!

2008-06-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

Photo by Timballa

I have an arch Nemesis, code name: Stinkeye Man. He goes to the gym the same time as me in the morning (which is 6am by the way. I know, I'm crazy). Every time I walk in, he gives me the most evil stink eye known to man.* He continues to give me the stinkeye for his entire work out. He also smells and doesn't bring a towel with him to wipe down the equipment (ewwwww!), number 47 on the "Elly's Pet Hates" list. Plus he doesn't use the gym stuff properly and wears inappropriate shoes. He just annoys the crap out of me. I still smile at him anyway when I walk in, even though he is a douche. And what do I get in return. The ol' stinkeye, that's what.

And NOW I think he is trying to get me to leave the gym. When I come in now he is using my favourite treadmill which is the first thing I use in the morning so I have to use the old one that's squeaky. Then he doesn't get off until I am done on mine so I can't use it. He also changes his speed every time I do and goes faster than I am going. He is definitely trying to make me feel so uncomfortable that I will leave.

To bad for him. I'm a stubborn SOB. The force is strong within me and I will not cross over to the dark side! Plus it gives me even more motivation to keep going, just to annoy him and, hypothetically, flip him off when he's not looking.

*Side note: Stinkeye Man is not as cute as this puppy.

Shaolin Soccer.

2008-06-21T02:05:00.000-07:00

Photo by shutter art

This, is Takraw. It's a game native to South East Asia and it is one of the most awesomely insane things I have EVER SEEN!

Imagine, if you will, a game that is a mixture of soccer, volleyball, kung fu and hacky sac and Takraw is what you get. Alex and I are watching it right now on TV. Each team has 3 players. The ball is made of rattan and teams may only touch the ball with their feet, legs, chest, shoulders and back. To kick the ball over the net, they basically do a backflip. It is absolutley crazy and sooooo awesome. I suggest looking up some clips on youtube. You will not be dissapointed. I want to learn! It looks like all kinds of fun.

Happiness is....

2008-06-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

is these two albums for me right now. *JOY*

Heavens to Betsey!!!

2008-06-19T02:01:00.000-07:00

I have never been one to go gaga over a watch. I had a swatch watch once with fluro sports equipment on the band (ooohhh yeah) and and blue Baby G watch that I thought was the shizz. But the they were presents. I've always just had the status of meh when it comes to actually buyng myself watch.

Until I saw this watch by Betsey Johnson. I neeeeed it. Even the packagin is adorable! I'm a sucker for good packaging. I love that the face is covered aswell. I think it's totally me. It comes in other colours but I like the black. Now just to find a website that ells it and ships out of the US. Hmmmmmm.

Hello Madam! Where you go?

2008-06-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

photo by snowc

This is the call of ubiquitous Tuk-Tuk driver, a native of the Bangkok region but a pest that has spread to all urban areas in Thailand. They lure unsuspecting tourists in with their friendly faces and promises to take you around Bangkok for the whole day for a mere 10 baht (around .30 cents Aussie). But the poor tourist finds themselves being taken to the various nests of the Tuk-Tuk driver which include shitty souvenir shops and "gem" *cough* cut glass *cough* stores. While this leaves the Tourist relatively unharmed aside from perhaps, their wallet, it does leave them extremely pissed off and with a terrible idea of Bangkok. It, however, does not have to be this way.

I am a firm believer in doing a lot of research on your destination before you travel. And not just on sights to see and places to eat but on dangers and annoyances as well. This seems like common sense but if I had a dollar for every tourist I've heard complaining about Tuk-Tuk drivers, well, you know the rest.

Any guide book* will tell about how crappy Tuk-Tuks are. For those not in the know, a Tuk-Tuk is basically the result of a lawn mower and a motorcycle having babies (and what disappointed parents they would be). Add in some gaudy decorations to catch people's eye and you have a tourist trap on wheels. And of course tourist like to take them! They are honestly kind of fun. But you have to weigh up that cost with the possibility of having a pretty horrible day if you get a rip off merchant for a driver (which is almost always).

The basic con is this: The driver, friendly and all smiles, will come up to you and tell you he will take you round Bangkok for an hour, even the whole day, for some ridiculously low price. "AH ha!" thinks the tourist "What a bargain I have scored here. I am soooooo clever. Genius THIS Einstein!!". This is the first mistake. So the tourist goes on his/her merry way thinking about the AWESOME day he/she is going to have for 30 cents. AWESOME. Wrong. Poor little tourist might get taken to a few good spots. But he will also go to quite a few of the aforementioned places (souvenir and gem shops) and spend 10 minutes in there being annoyed and not wanting to buy anything because they are so annoyed. Them comes the inevitable bad opinion of Bangkok.

Admittedly, it is not all the Tuk-Tuk drivers fault. The reason they take you to these places is because the stores give the incentives like fuel vouchers just for bringing tourists there and commissions if you buy something. It doesn't make it any less annoying but it gives you more of an idea of what's going on. I have heard a few stories (possibly urban myths spread by the Tuk-Tuk drivers themselves to make tourists more trusting) of people having a nice day on one of these bargain all day rides, only having to go to one or two shops-o-crap before being taken places that they actually want to go to. On the flip side, I have heard just as many stories of people getting taken to half a dozen shops before being turfed out wherever the driver feels like.

If you do manage to find Tuk-Tuk that's not trying to rip you off by taking you on a "tour", they will cost you at least 3x what a lovely, clean and air conditioned taxi will. Tuk-Tuks don't run on a meter like the Taxis do, you have to barter. They use far less petrol than taxis, being a 2 stroke motor and all, and you have to sit in the open, lead loaded air. For locals they are cheaper. This is definitely not the case for tourists. The ones on my soi wont get get off their butts take me from the supermarket to my house (about a 10 minute walk tops) for less than 50 baht. A motorcycle taxi** is 10 baht and ad taxi is 35. I know I sound like a total miser, but it all adds up. Plus it just plain annoys me.

So, for my money, Tuk-Tuks are just not worth the hassle in my opinion. If you get get one to take you somewhere for a reasonable price then go for it! They are kinda fun. But be careful. It you get an bad driver it can seriously ruin your day. I've personally never been conned but that's because I actually read up on BKK before I came here. Here's a few tips to help you deal with Tuk-Tuks.

- If it seems to good to be true, it is. If you don't have to barter then you will get ripped off.

- If the driver is carrying a tourist map, don't approach him. You will get ripped off.

- Stay away from the Tuk-Tuks in really touristy areas. You will get ripped off.

- Don't listen to drivers in the touristy areas if they approach you and tell you the sight you are about to see is closed till 3/closed for a Buddhist holiday/monk protesting outside. Then he will kindly offer to take you somewhere else for 10 baht! WOW! Stop. Walk away, you are about to be ripped off.

I hope this helps if you ever come to Bangkok and have to deal with those damn Tuk-Tuks *shakes fist*.

* don't even get me started on how much I hate the Lonely Planet Thailand book. It is missing so much information. Save your money and research everything online before you come here.

** Motorcycle taxis are very dangerous and are the reason you see a lot of missing limbs in Thailand. Never take them more than a short distance. More on this later.

Bling a Ding Ding.

2008-06-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

Bling Bling yo! Myf got me this for my birthday last week and I am head over heels in love with it. I spotted this ring in all it's cupcake bling glory in a small stall at Chut a Chut markets when we went on Saturday. At first I denied my love for it because it was gold, which I don't wear, and it was just plain huge. But then my overwhemling love for items shaped like food stuffs and cupcakes in general took over and I had to have it! Sadly, I didn't have the scratch on me to buy it (it was about 850 baht which = approximately $30 AUD) so the lovely Myf offered to purchase it for me (thanks hon!). I couldn't be happier!!!

Singin' in the Rain

2008-06-17T02:35:00.001-07:00

This is the view outside my widow now right this very moment. No it's not the Bangkok smog (which is totally gross by the way). It's rain! Crazy huh! It's the start of the rainy season here and oh boy do they mean rainy. It rain most afternoons at the moment but I have never seen it quite this tropical. The rain is actually great because it cools everything down and clears some of the smog. Plus it's nice to listen to it. I feel like going outside and dancing about but I would probably regret it!

UPDATE!!

My soi flooded!

Who Let the Dogs Out?

2008-06-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

These little guys are Soi dogs, Bangkok's homeless dog population (Sois are the side streets that run off main roads). Soi dogs would be in the top 5 list of "Things that Freak Tourists Out". They are pretty mangy and gross. They all perfectly embody the word "Mongrel". You could never pick any kind of pedigree in them. They are usually pretty skinny too and infested with parasites. Aside from scraps in the garbage, they are mostly fed by school kids snacking on their way home and street food vendors packing up for the day. Some of them do have "Owners" meaning they hang round one family/person more than others. A couple even have collars.

It's a bit fashionable in Thailand at the moment to have a puppy. Who doesn't like puppies?? They are cute and little and don't eat much. But of course, puppies get bigger, less cute and eat more. So they get turfed onto the street and get replaced by a newer model. So these poor, house raised dogs have to learn to fend for themselves on the street quick smart or they're toast. They have to fight for food with each other, find somewhere to hide and sleep and negotiate the crazy Bangkok traffic. I swear, some of these dogs are better at crossing the road than me.

Soi dogs aren't as dangerous as most people might think. They are usually too hot and tired to bother with you (Soi dogs will sleep almost anywhere there is shade, including the road with the traffic whirling by). Most of the time you can walk on by without even getting a glance. I would worry if the dog is foaming at the mouth and has a crazy look in it's eyes (rabies is still pretty prevalent here). Lots of people report attacks by Soi dogs every year and get rabies shots. But, on the flip side, most of these people have only been licked by them and then panic. I do genuinely feel bed for these dogs. Sometimes I feel like carrying round a huge bag of Smackos and throwing them out to the dogs like some sort dried meat product wielding saint. This would be completely impractical because a) I'd get followed home and b) I'd get mobbed. They estimate there are around 150,000 homeless dogs in Bangkok.

But it's not all bad for the Soi dogs. The King himself haa taken an interest. He adopted his own Soi dog to set an example for Thai people to do the same. There are groups of monks that go out and catch the dogs and then turn them over to vets who de-flea, de-tick and neuter them before letting them back out into the streets. This has helped to reduce the population of homeless dogs. These vets donate their time and a considerable amount of cash out of their own pockets. They are even starting to use soi dogs as police sniffer dogs. The do put them down, but only if they are very sick. Thai people believe that dogs are people who have lived wicked previous lives so think it's not right to kill them. But at the same time, this is part of the reason people don't feel bad turning them out into the street.

It's nice to see the Thai government and people starting to look out for their animals, in their own way of course. I actually think soi dogs, through all their mange, are quite cute. Thai dogs always seem to look like they're smiling. And if they can be happy with how they live, perhaps we can learn something from them.

I Heart BKK

2008-05-04T04:48:00.000-07:00

The view from my apartment.

So I'm back in the Kok (heh). And I'm glad. It took a hellish 12 hour tiger flight to get here. I was already pissed off when I checked in because I realised there was a highschool rugby group on my flight who I thought were going to make a horrible amount of noise. But I didn't hear a peep from them all night. There were however, some very loud and obnoxious english slappers, two groups infact. It seemed they were from opposing slapper/laddette gangs or something because they started fighting and yelling at each other for reasons I clearly was not chav enough to understand. Heartbreaking. It was a bit amusing. There was also a "Is there a Doctor on the plane??!!!" moment when the woman behind me passed out and couldn't be revived. Luckily there was one (which brings me to the question of why a doctor is flying on a budget airline). He put her on a drip and sat with her until we landed. So we had to wait on the plane 20 minutes while they organised the stretcher but then the lady just got up herself and walked off! Luckily, there was more amusment in the form of the slapper gangs waring as the got off. There was alot of "Fookin' bitch" and "Oh shut it you right slag or I'll 'ave you". Hehehehehe. Slappers. So after all that, I finally arrived in Bangkok, was through immigration in a flash (there was no line!! That never happens!) and my bag was the first off WOO! Ale was there to meet me and we stepped out of the aircon and into the slap in the face known as Bangkok weather.

I guess I haven't been away that long but is was enough time for me to almost forget how much I love it here. It's dirty, smoggy and there's a general smell of garbage water around every corner. It's fiercely muggy pretty much all the time. Tuk-tuk bug the crap out of you. There are mangy dogs and cats all over the place. And they have squat toilet. I hate squat toilets, no matter how much more "hygenic" they might be (note: I don't find standing in other people's pee very hygenic-sorry Doc).

But this is a city full of life. There is always something happening. But at the same time, people move through the city at a slow pace. No body ever seems to be in a rush (except Tuk Tuks). I swear, the Thais invented ambling. Sure there are people trying to rip you off but if you actualy read up on everything you're warned about it all and if you are polite they leave you alone. It is totally worth putting up with those little hassles. The food oh the food. It is so good. I'm currently addicted to buying whole cobbs of corn from street stalls. Not strictly Thai food but it's soooo good!!! My soi has so much good food, both street and restaurant. There are THREE places to get really great massages and manicures and the train is only a short walk away. I have been walking everywhere tho. BKK is not exactly the best city for walking but it can be done!

Oh plus, before I forget, Alex and I have move house since I was last here. I'm now living on Soi 11 right near Sukhumvit. There is so much more to do here than Nonthaburi (about an hour out of anything exciting) where I was before. My new apartment is just as nice as the last one, maybe even a little nicer. It has a gym, a pool (which isn't as nice or as big as the one at my last apartment but it is on the roof) ping pong and squash (I use the squash court for Hula Hoop practise tehehehe). I can just walk down the street and there are a million things to do. Plus I am alot closer to alot of my favourite haunts, like say, the Wat Po massage school or Platinum shopping emporium.

So, I am glad I am back. I am hoping to make as much of my time here as possible. I plan by the time I leave to be atleast confident enough to have a conversation in Thai. I's also really like to learn to cook good Thai food. So many things, and I have all the time in the world. Somewhere in between I'll be be guzzling down copious amounts of Tom Kha Gai, quaffing lemon iced tea and exploring Asia with Alex. Mmmmm, life is good.

Choc Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes with Whipped Nutella Icing

2007-10-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

These are the cupcakes Lexi, Rachell and myself invented on "Cupcakes & Kittens Day" (except my kitten had to stay home because Lexi's beagle Darwin would probably try to eat her) with the intention of sending them in for Chockylit's cupcake round up. That was until we realised the deadline had already passed. But on the bright side, we still got to eat some very tasty treats.
.
We started brainstorming on new and different ideas for a cupcake. Somehow we got onto ice cream flavours which lead to cookie dough. It's horribly American and was probably disgustingly fattening but it was worth it! It was like two desserts in one!
.
The icing was trickier. Normal butter cream would be too sweet and ganache too rich. So we consulted our current bible, The Crabapple Cupcake Bakery Cookbook, and found the answer. The Nutella icing wasn't too sweet or rich and the hazelnut flavour worked well with the rest of the cake. Woohoo!

Cookie Cupcakes:

This is a basic butter cake recipe from The Crabapple Cupcake book with a few little tweaks to blend the flavour with the cookie dough a little more.
.
Makes 12 tasty, tasty cupcakes.
.
1 1/2 cups plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
100 grams softened butter
1/2 cup castor sugar
1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar

2 eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup milk

Preheat your oven to 170'C

Sift the flour and baking powder into a bowl and set aside.Cream the butter for 1-2 minutes then add the sugars a third at a time, beating in between each addition. Beat until it nice and light and fluffy and the sugar looks pretty dissolved. Add eggs one at a time and beat between each addition. Beat for 1 minute until light and fluffy. Add the vanilla extract and beat it, just beat it.

Add a third of the sifted flour and half the milk to the mix and combine. Repeat! Add the final third of flour and beat. Don't over beat the mix or it will toughen up and not bake very well.Spoon into some ultra cute patty pans and bake for 20 minutes until the top of the cakes spring back and skewer comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack

Cookie Dough Filling:

Because this is a raw cookie mix, we took out the eggs and used less flour so it was a little stickier than usual.

80 grams butter

1/4 cup well packed brown sugar

1/4 cup castor sugar

2 tablespoons milk

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup plain flour

100 grams milk or dark chocolate melts

Cream the butter and sugars until super fluffy and the sugar looks dissolved. Add vanilla extract. Beat in the flour and milk until combined. Get some anger management therapy by crushing up the melts with a weapon of choice. I personally favour a rolling pin. Add them to the cookie mix, keeping some in reserve for sprinkling on top.

To fill the cupcakes, cut a cone shape out of the top of cakes. Cut off the tip off the cone so you are just left with a cute little hat to sit on top of the filling. Take a large tablespoon of the cookie dough and fill the cavity in the cupcakes with it. Put the cupcakes little hat back on so it's not naked! Them it is all ready to ice.

Nutella Icing:

We cut the recipe in the book by a 1/3, because I usually find the Crabapple icing recipes make a massive amount. But in this case, I found it wasn't enough (hence why you can still see the top bit of the cone in the photos)! If you like your icing lightly smeared across the top of the cake, go for the 1/3 option. But if you are like me, an icing fiend, go the whole hog.
.
500 grams of Nutella
1/2 cup whipping cream
.
Whip the cream. Fold in 1/4 of the Nutella. Then fold this cream/Nutella mix back into the rest of the Nutella until combined. Pipe or spread over cupcakes and decorate with crushed chocolate.

The Verdict:

Super rich! Oh my god! You completely need to have a glass of milk with them. The cake on it's own was a little bland but the Nutella icing saved it. I actually found they tasted better the next day after a night in the fridge. I have no idea why. But I have been craving these so bad I think I will have to make them again on the weekend. Over all I think they were a delicious success! Make them! Do it! Do it now!! (and invite me over to eat them!)

The Adventures of Cupcakes!

New Home!!!

Apology Anthology + Blog Re-Boot 2009

Baby it's cold outside

Permanent Marker

Baby Blue Eyes

It's good to be King

A Place to Call my own.

Shi-an not Xian or the land that English forgot

2 oh oh 9

Going Honkey Nuts!

HA HA HA

A very Clara Christmas

The most wonderful time.....

Merry Christmas!

How RUDE!

Say my name!

Not So Turkey Day!

Sorries!

Loy Loy Kratong!

You better watch out!!

Pudt Pasa Ungrit Mai Ka

Dear PAD

I wish I'd known!!!! Chinese visa HELL!

Don't!

Moneypenny. Miss Moneypenny.

Oh Mai Oh Mai

My First Halloween!

PANTS!!!

Helsinki Beauties

Tea Time

Creepy!

Nam Sooay Mak Marr

Gender Benders

Stop! Clara Time!!

Houston. We have a problem.

Swimming in the Rain

Phuk-it.

Story Time

Hot and Bothered

Round Round get Around how I get Around YEAH.

My New Baby!!!

Cheap and Cheerful!

When I was in Vietnam

Censored

Thailand: Land of Stares

Sole Solution

Elly Like Ichigo!

Water Baby

Princess Dreamin'

Putting Up Walls

The Gretchie Monster

Desperately Seeking Sandals.

Swish Swish

Stinkeye Man - Update

A weekend away

Thailand Essentials

My Arch Nemisis!

Shaolin Soccer.

Happiness is....

Heavens to Betsey!!!

Hello Madam! Where you go?

Bling a Ding Ding.

Singin' in the Rain

Who Let the Dogs Out?

I *Heart* BKK

Choc Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes with Whipped Nutella Icing

I Heart BKK